August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 62--owo panic uwu

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use.

Josiah's P.O.V.

-Friday, November 12th-

As usual, I woke up in the middle of the night, freaking out.

I think it happens more in unfamiliar places.

Anyway, first instinct was to get Damien up, of course.

There was just one issue.

Damien doesn't like to talk about it.

When I found him and he...

Yeah. I should have figured that would invade my nightmares. Whatever.

I hold the panic in, feeling pretty lucky that I was able to stay silent. Even though sometimes I question if anything can wake Damien up if he's in a deep enough sleep.

I check my phone.

It's later than I thought. It's past 6:00 already, and we'll be waking up for school soon anyway.

I should lay back down and at least try to relax until it's actually time to get up.

I should...

But I won't because I'm afraid of waking Damien up by accident.

Again, not that it seems likely that he will wake up, because he always sleeps like he's...dead. Like he'll never wake up.

I need to leave so I don't wake him up. Because he isn't dead. He's very much alive, and very much just sleeping, and...

I get up carefully.

This is the fun part. Trying to find the door. Because I do not remember where it was.

I go along the wall until I find the door, opening it.

It squeaks, and I turn in the direction of the bed to check for movement.

Who am I kidding?

Nothing that quiet would wake him up.

But this door is very squeaky. I have that. It's an awful sound and I'll probably hear it in my head for the rest of my life.

Arguably not as bad as that tapping he was doing yesterday, though.

That was irritating.

I think that's a fair word for it.

I go left to the living room.

Maybe I should go outside. It's cold out there. It might make everything numb enough for me to relax again.

I've never actually been relaxed. Not for one second.

Before I can go, a voice interrupts me.

Fuck.

"Good morning, Josiah. You're up early."

What the hell...?

Who...?

Oh. Who is a dumb question.

Unless someone broke in, it's probably Pierre.

"I'm going outside." I tell him.

"It's awfully cold out there. What do you need outside? I can run and get it for you..."