Chasing Butterflies

Irony

This book was supposed to be metaphorical.

The characters paralysis just representing my depression. The black bird pecking on her window symbolizing my suicidal thoughts just watching, waiting for the right time to fly in.

The butterfly representing my fleeting childhood memories and love.

Never thought that a book like this could take everything so literally and throw that back at me in this life.

Maybe I subconsciously knew of my illness, and craved some answers. Why else am I writing a book that no reads, except me?

A few months ago, I got diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy. It's not complete paralysis but it alters my balance and corordination.

Its painful to walk and move.

I've been having seizures and periods where I can't move my legs at all. It's left me afraid. In pain, unable to sleep. To this day I dont know if I'll wake up and not be able to dance again.

I've always tried to see the bright perspective, but, I don't understand how my illness, causes still unknown, could be for the better.

But I'm sure it is for the better, because it proved to me the real ones. The ones that would stick with me no matter what.

Unfortunately, this chapter isn't that poetic or metaphorical. It's just raw facts about my life. Uncensored.

I hope no one I know finds this book.