I was there, paralyzed, watching all the doctors connecting her to the monitors, drawing blood, checking her wounds ... all so fast.
She couldn't stand it.
She was literally gasping for air in that fucking oxygen mask trying to get them to stop.
"Please leave me alone. Let me go home, I don't want this" she cries and I could feel my heart sinking.
I wanted to do something but I couldn't do anything.
She needs the right care now, and I can't give her this.
I see her starting to move trying to avoid all their hands and all their tools, but she was too weak.
They wanted to sedate her, but they needed to keep her awake until they knew what was going on with her head.
When he saw an intern arrive with a needle of what I assumed to be morphine, she started moving around again, never stopping yelling for help.
"BRING THE STRAPS HERE" yells a doctor.
What?
I see how they tied her up while she cries loudly.
I immediately started knocking on the wall letting them know it wasn't an option but they didn't give a shit about me.
"You can't hold her down! Undo the restrictions and now!" I say aloud as her tear-filled eyes look at me with hope.
"She's resisting medical advice, sir. If she doesn't stand still we can't do much, she needs to stand still and that's the only way" says the doctor.
"She has to be still, not traumatized! Take off the straps! Let me in! She needs me!" I scream as I begin to lose my mind.
The doctor comes in front of me on the other side of the wall.
And he closes the shutters.
I start screaming to open those things again.
She can't go through this alone.
Not again.
I could hear her screams inside and I couldn't imagine what was happening to her.
It was killing me.
My chest got tighter as tears burned in my eyes.
A security guard wanted me to get out of there.
But I couldn't.
I ask him for help but he did not listen to my prayer.
No one seems to be listening to those screams.
Suddenly some hands were trying to make me sit down guiding my head towards my knees.
I couldn't concentrate much, but I recognize the white coat.
He has a little bear in his pocket ...
Wait .... it looks like ....
"Davis" I exhale.
Davis was a close friend of my father.
He was always in our house. I've always seen him as a member of the family.
"Ssshhh Luke, it's okay, breathe" he shushes me. He has always been so kind.
"Davis" I forced myself to breathe and speak against the tears.
"She needs me, please, help me open those blinds, please" I beg him and his face goes in pure confusion.
"Son what do you mean " she needs me " who is she?" He asks softly
"Charlie. She is my...... I don't know what she is to me but she needs me!" I scream starting to feel my chest tighter and tighter.
"Okay okay, we will solve this problem but you have to breathe" he says worried "now you will tell me what happened"
"My dear friend is there, she came to my house and it was badly inhured. It was an abuse situation!
She has white coat syndrome and I already knew it, I found out one day while I was suturing her a cut "I say quickly as he nods "now they got her in trauma 2 telling me to stay out of the windows so she could see me and try to calm down. But they ended up tying her up and closing the blinds ... please Uncle Davis, I can hear her screams from here!" I cry out.
Her voice was in my head and I couldn't stop it.
Davis's face was now filled with concern.
"Come with me"
And he didn't have to say more.
We head to her room and he walks in leaving me outside praying.
I could hear the doctors arguing until the blinds opened and I could finally see Charlie ... but she was tied up and with a towel in her mouth to keep her from screaming.
I wanted to beat that bastard so hard.
I saw that uncle Davis took control of the situation by explaining everything to Charlie.
He removes the towel from her mouth and the restraints, making Charlie promise she would stay still.
"Look honey, there's Luke, why don't you look at him, yeah sweetheart?" Davis tries to distract her.
He's a pediatrician, obviously he knows how to approach his patients, but I knew what he was doing.
She looks at me exhausted, she can't even complain anymore, her face was swollen with tears and I couldn't stop blaming me.
I put my hand on the glass.
"Honey I'm here, you're doing so well. You're halfway there already" I try to encourage her when I knew it was just the beginning.
A huge scream echoes around the room as Davis cuts her skin to put a chest tube in her.
The nurses held her steady as she continued to scream and cry.
I couldn't see that scene anymore, please.
"Sorry honey, I know, I know" uncle Davis tries to calm her down but she couldn't care less about his words.
As he pushes the tube into her abdomen her eyes widen and she stands up with her back.
The pain was so bad that she couldn't even scream.
I saw how the nurses pushed her down again.
A doctor was checking the leg and hip and booking an MRI.
Uncle Davis checks her abdomen and also orders an ultrasound.
We all turned pale when she started to fibrillate.
CHARLIE DON'T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
I saw my uncle push blood thinners into her IV.
Her breathing more and more unstable.
"Come on!" says uncle Davis looking at the monitor that was going crazy.
"Charlie please" I scream as I hit the glass hoping she will look at me.
But then it all went into one, straight, sound.
"She has no pulse!" says the intern out loud, pressing the blue button.
"Code blue in trauma 2" shouts a voice behind me.
I see people running around while my uncle does chest compressions on her little body.
Another doctor hooks her to a ventilator, another prepares the defibrillator.
I was numb.
I couldn't move a muscle.
I couldn't speak.
I couldn't even think properly.
It's been 2 minutes and she didn't answer at any medicine and every second a part of me was dying with her.
6 minutes and no sign of a response.
This was all my fault.
I should have noticed it.
I shouldn't have let her go home.
I should have pushed her harder to talk to me.
I should have-
A beat.
"He has a pulse" announces the intern.
Everyone rushed her to the OR leaving me alone in crisis as my breathing got worse and worse .....
.... I don't remember much from there.....I guess I passed out?
