Finally we have to go to lunch.
I'm starving.
I couldn't eat anything in the morning. My situation is quite complicated.
I never had good parents.
My parents split up when I was a kid and my dad left me and my mother alone.
I know that everyone thinks of me like the "daddy little princess" but I need it in this way.
My mom turned to alcohol until she started bringing men home.
The last one is her currently boyfriend, John.
He's a completely asshole.
He got really violent from the first day for no reason, not that it bothered my mother, in fact she completely agreed.
But I found a way to sneak out from this problems: dance.
I am really good and I won a lot of races so they could make money from me.
If I have to compete, they can't hit me, which is why I'm probably still alive.
But things have not improved.
They made torture out of my hobby.
They want me to train day and night every day, and I need to stick to a strict diet that is basically based on starving.
Every week they make me weigh and if I have even just one gram more it's over.
I always feel so weak, I always risk fainting and, as if that weren't enough, I have a heart defect which means I don't have to put in a lot of effort but who cares right?
They don't care about me and I'm just waiting for my 18 to get away from that hell.
Nobody knows and nobody has to know, so I covered it up by pretending to be a fucking idiot girl who doesn't know anything other than how to use a credit card.
Every time I win a contest they buy me something to keep my theater alive, but if I lose the contest .... Death would be so much better.
However, when I reach the cafeteria, I find my friends.
We always meet during lunch.
I couldn't eat much, so I just eat some strawberrys and almond milk.
I love almond milk, it's one of the few sweet things they've allowed me to have.
We sit at the table talking gossip and boys until, again, I see Luke staring at me with a grin.
"Do you want an autograph?" I ask him tired of him studying my movements.
He raises his eyebrows.
"Sorry?" he asks smiling again, feigning confusion.
"Stop staring at me like that, I have a boyfriend" I say.
"Mmh mmh ... not that I care about you but is it the same as kissing Sarah in the bathroom right now?"
So, I'm not stupid.
I play this part but I'm not stupid.
I know full well he is cheating on me, but I'm the one using him for my acting so ...
It obviously pissed me off, but the other guys wouldn't hang out with me if I knew he was cheating on me and I need to show him the popular girl with thousands of guys at her feet whose only problem is not knowing how to curl her very straight hair.
"Listen to me, Mr. I know everything, no one has asked your opinion so bye bye" I said gesturing to him to go somewhere else.
Looking amused by my nervousness, he continued the conversation.
"You know those shoes don't fit you very well, how can't you always get back pain with those heels?" he teases.
Okay, I hate heels, not that the point shoes are better, but I can't let him win.
"Sorry? Why don't you shut up and do everyone a favor and leave, we're trying to have lunch" I said annoyed
"Lunch? With what? Milk?" he said laughing.
I always get angry in this situation. I would like to eat something real, but I also want to live and then it only stays one year for my 18 years, I can survive a little longer.
"You know what, do what you want, I don't give a fuck, but you should go back to your books" I say.
"You know what, I probably will, you know this is how intelligence is trained, not that you can understand" he joked.
I was going to argue but he leaves and I turned around to "eat" and then I went back to class and there's just a thought in my mind: I want some fucking sneakers.
