Tango

I don't deserve you.

More and more days passed where Thomas would watch Alex from afar, and observe as the younger man fretted over small things. Whether it was dried streaks on the silverware or a table cloth being crooked, he'd always find something to keep his mind from thinking about his current predicament. It was just like when he was at work, never giving himself a break. Only really relaxing once Thomas was home with him at the end of the day. And just as Thomas sat there observing him he thought back to Lafayette's description of Alex on his first day of college, and on one end it was sweet to see him in a different state than he had grown accustomed to but on the other, it worried him. His significant other was struggling and he wasn't sure how to help. The Virginian thought back to the moments when they were carefree and Alexander wasn't just a ball of nerves.

"Hey, Frenchie." He called out, thinking back to their road trip four months prior in December.

"I thought we had agreed that you're Frenchie?" The brunet looked his way.

"Yeah, well, we can be each other's Frenchies."

The man laughed and sat closer to the other on the sofa. The Caribbean man just looked at his partner confused.

"What are you getting at?"

"Remember France?"

"Yeah? It's a country in Europe..."

"No, Alex, don't be so cynical. Remember when I asked you if you wanted to go to France? I said I'd take you."

"And see Lafayette's family? Yeah, right." The shorter man was skeptical.

"Alex, I'm serious."

The pair locked eyes, Jefferson's stare telling Hamilton that he, in fact, was serious. Why was this so important to him? The Brunet signed.

"Thomas, this isn't exactly the right time-"

"Yes, Alex, it is." The older man sat up and faced his lover.

"I can tell you're nervous, you won't stop worrying, you need to get your mind off of this, Darling. We can go there, change the scenery, don't worry your pretty little head."

"Don't fucking patronize me." The younger man got mad.

The darker man was taken aback.

"That's not what I meant, Alex. Can we at least talk about whatever it is that's got you worked up? I feel like you find new things to worry about every day."

The look in Thomas's eye was sincere. For the life of him Alexander, couldn't understand how could someone care so much about another person. Once more the pair shared a silent look, and Alexander was almost about to speak, his lips parting as if to say a word but no sound came out. His eyes turned red and glassy, and a fat tear rolled down his cheek.

"Come here."

Thomas opened his arms wide, just waiting for his lover to come - sit in his lap. They sat quietly together on the sofa, the same sofa they had proclaimed their feelings for each other on, the smaller man in the taller one's embrace, his beard grazing the younger one's forehead. After a prolonged silence, a strained whimper was heard.

"It's not just one thing." He sniffled.

"It's everything at once, and I can't get John's words out of my head. What if this is wrong, what if it's dangerous?." Smaller tears rolled down.

"I could die... It could die..."

"Don't you ever, say these words again."

The older man threatened, holding the brunet's chin up with his fingers so, he could look into his eyes. Just the mention of the Carolinian made him mad.