LEGACY: a bucky barnes story

Chapter 13 - Manifest

Steve found himself above ground, on a balcony of the dam. He looked distraught, but he had every right to be. Sam and I stood to the side, trying to figure out the best means of approach.

"Maybe you should go talk to him," I wagered.

"Yeah, but I think he knows what might have to happen." Sam replied.

"That we may not be able to take his friend alive?"

"Yup," Sam sighed, "I'm gonna go check on him real quick."

I watched as Sam meandered toward Steve. I chose not to join their difficult conversation, traipsing back underground to find Fury and Maria.

I approached the table where Fury and Maria sat deep in discussion. I cut in, "Hey, so, for this mission, I figured I'd find myself with Nat, since she is still my primary—"

"Jen, I don't want you boots on the ground for this," Nick hesitated, completely stunning me with his confession.

"You're injured. Any agent as injured as you are wouldn't be in the field, anyway."

"Nick, you're kidding right? These injuries are primarily superficial—I'm not the one with a punctured lung. I was sat at that table with everyone else, how could I not join them? You know that I could be an asset to the team—why are you really doing this?"

"Coulson, enough, you can be of service behind the scenes, with—"

Something inside me flipped a switch, and I wasn't fully aware in the outburst that followed.

"You've got to be shitting me, is this you benching me right now? Nick, you know my injuries are not enough to be benched! If it were any other agent, you'd maybe give them an ice pack then send them in without a second thought!

"I've proven myself beyond what I even thought I was capable of in the past 36 hours. I've held my own, even as a newbie. But, that's the job, that's what I've trained for! Don't you trust me?" I wasn't entirely sure why I was this angry, but I boiled over and there was no containing it now.

"Dammit Coulson, of course, I trust you! Trust ain't got nothing to do with it! It's just—"

"Just what, Nick? What excuse could you possibly have that's worth impeding my work?"

"I can't lose you!"

I gulped. Maria sat there, completely taken aback by the both of us. My stomach clenched at my outrage in the presence of a nonconsensual witness.

Nick sighed. "I lost your dad...and—I know you lost your father, but it was devastating—I couldn't save him. I wasn't there for him. There was nothing I could do, I felt helpless, okay? And that shit still haunts me. I just...I don't want to risk not being able to save you, too. You are my responsibility; I owe that much to your dad."

"Nick—"

"Wait, okay. I just..." Nick grunted in frustration, "I can't hold you back from doing your job, that is your decision. You decided to be an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. And there's risk involved. Risk that could kill you, but you know that.

"I'm not happy about it, and I don't know that I'll ever be happy about it. I believe in you, I do, and you belong on the frontlines with the team."

"Nick, I...Is this you putting be back in the field?"

Nick paused a moment, letting out the biggest sigh I'd ever heard.

"I think Cap's infected you with some serious rebellion—might need to get that shit checked out. Go get suited up," Nick relented.