LEGACY: a bucky barnes story

Chapter 32 - Together

I awoke with my head nestled in the crook of his neck. His metal arm comfortably curled around my body. My arm found itself resting across his broad chest, lifting and lowering with the gentle rhythm of his breaths. I hazily smiled to myself, recalling the previous night. James inhaled sharply through his nose and upon his exhale, his other arm wrapped around me and drew me closer. I couldn't stifle the quiet giggle from my lips. As if on cue, James' eyes fluttered open and his brawny arms held me tighter to him.

"Good morning, doll," his hoarse voice murmured.

"Good morning, Sarge."

James chuckled and kissed the crown of my head. "Careful, or you'll get a repeat of last night."

"Don't threaten me with a good time," I teased.

"God damn."

I laughed and twisted to get off the cot. He tightened his hold on my torso and pulled me into the little spoon.

"No," he whispered.

"James, I have to pee."

"No, you don't." His lips trailed my ear and neck.

"No, I really do. I'll come right back," I whined.

"Peeing's overrated."

"Goddammit, James," I laughed.

I wriggled as he continued to hold me, inching closer to the edge of the cot. I turned my head to scold him with my eyes.

"Promise you'll come right back?" His doe eyes begged.

"Lord, yes—I am going to go and come right back."

"Fine," he relented. I quickly got out and used the bathroom—his antics made the need to go much more urgent. When I returned to the barracks, his eyes had closed again. I leaned on the doorframe, content watching his peaceful dozing.

"I'm not asleep, doll—get back in here." He spoke with eyes still closed.

"So bossy." I grinned.

"You said it yourself—I'm the Sergeant." He turned to face me. With his arm outstretched, he motioned for me to join him and patted the cot.

"You know, we should probably talk about last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it does complicate things a bit."

"Jaige... please don't tell me this is about S.H.I.E.L.D. again." He exhaled sharply and propped himself up. As much as my body instructed me to go lay with him, I held steady in the doorframe.

"Well—"

"Jaige... Please."

"I can't help what I feel for you, that much I know," I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear him getting up from his cot. "It's okay, I'm fine—"

"Stop pretending that you're okay, because I know you're not." He took my hand and led me to his cot. I steadied my breathing as I sat down next to him.

"James, it's not that, I..." I trailed off.

"Do you remember when you asked me why I took you from the river?"

"Yeah, you said I was easier to carry." I snorted.

"Yes—well, that was only part of it. I knew I could carry you better than I could Steve, but I wanted you. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. I couldn't tell you why, but there was something intoxicating about you that I couldn't shake—hell, you derailed the Winter Soldier somehow. When I'd start to lose my grip, I remembered you. I strived to hear your voice. I caught a glimpse of your eyes.

"So, when I pulled you from the river—I had to figure out who I really was—I want-I needed you beside me. So, though maybe misguided, I wanted to keep you with me."

I took his hands in mine and turned them over. Holding them tight, I let out a heavy sigh. My stomach flipped, but he deserved to hear me out. To hear the thoughts that coursed through my head and heart. "James?"

His eyes lifted, swimming with concern.

"Can I be honest for a second?"

"I wish you would, doll," he remarked as the left side of his mouth upturned.

I snorted, to which he chuckled right back. Taking in a deep breath, I stated. "I started to feel things for you before I ever wanted to admit it. I only discovered the depth of your past recently and what I read should have scared me away." He slowly interlaced his fingers with mine, raising our hands together. He drew them close and placed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand, resting it on his mouth. "But it didn't. I think, deep down, I knew it couldn't. Because who you've been with me has no bearings of a murderous machine—except for that one time..."

"Jaige—"

"Wait, hold on, please. I admire you so much—all you've gone through and yet you're the man I see before me? How those two people could ever be one person is incredible. You..." I sighed as the words became harder to find.

"Don't stop now, doll. You've got me all aflutter." He flashed a sultry smile.

I lightly shoved his shoulder with my hand. "James, I'm serious! You... You mean the world to me, okay?"

"Come here." He wrapped his arms around my torso and easily slid me closer. With a gentle lift, he'd placed me on top his lap. His hand rested on my jaw, turning my gaze in towards his, while soft strokes grazed my cheek.

"You make me want to just... just say 'fuck S.H.I.E.L.D.' and be with you. And I want that so badly, James. My head is just really full of... just..."

"Everything?"

I chuckled. "Yes, everything."

He smirked then grew quiet. "Can I weigh in?"

"I think you should, maybe bring some clarity to my bullshit."

"Well... the fact that you have faith in me, after everything—that means the world to me. You mean everything to me. But I can't ask you to bury something that's that important to you. I can't and I won't. But I hope there's room for me alongside S.H.I.E.L.D. and everything else coursing through that beautiful mind of yours."

"This your turn to make me all aflutter?"

"Oh, hush." He lightly kissed my temple.

"I hear you, though. And there is absolutely room for you, there's always going to be room—whether S.H.I.E.L.D. or anything else tries to change that."

"Good. And there's a spot in here with your name on it, Jaige." He patted his chest over his heart.

"So, what do we do now?" I looked at him expectantly.

"We'll figure it out—us, this situation, all of it. Together."

I smiled and squeezed his hand. "Together."