Stars & Fingertips

Astronomy

Have you ever looked at constellations?

It is impeccable, truly. Certain stars are arranged so perfectly in the sky that we perceive them as pictures. These holes in the atmosphere appeal to our imaginative minds and create stories of ancient civilizations and methodologies that we as humans do not even know to be true.

It is an odd thing, however, because when we do not truly understand the stars we only see a beautiful mess of piercings that have no order. We comprehend things that do not even exist.

If I cannot comprehend stars, how could I even expect to understand the complexities of the emotions of others? It is a struggle to understand my own.

You are right there. A foot to my right, and I cannot touch you. I cannot understand you as I cannot understand astronomy or how space is so vast. We are only a mere moment in time and evolution. You are only a mere moment in my life, but constellations and memories are displayed every night when the sun disappears from view. You have impacted me like these stars have impacted the atmosphere.

Like holes through the ozone layer, you have shot holes into my body and I am left gaping. I can trace the constellations on the sides of my face, around my lips, down my body. These constellations were formed by your fingertips, each and every print leaving a different star to unfold into a beautiful cascade of emotion. I can trace my fingers around my lips and feel the connection of lust. The fingers that traced my face and dangled through my tangled hair left the constellation of longing. The fingerprints down the side of my body left the imprint of affection, as did the constellation across my chest that is desire. The only constellation, the only emotion that your fingerprints did not leave was love.

You had never loved me and the stars prove this to be true. I look to the sky and I see all of the reasons why you would be untruthful, why the world is cruel, why certain things play out the way they do. I see the reason for love, yet I also see the reason for longing. Loneliness is hard to bare and it is often cured by someone who is lonely in return. As lonely hearts we joined together: you trying to replace the love you had felt before that you could not retain; me searching for a feeling of freedom which I could only find in your dominance.

We were two different stars in the sky, and we had not belonged to each other's constellations. We as stars cannot shift, we cannot move, we cannot falter.

Your light has gone out in my eyes. This means that either you have fallen, or that you have become part of a bigger picture, a constellation which I could never truly understand.

And I am left as a lone star in the sky, and I cannot see which constellation I belong to.