Stars & Fingertips

Easy

Last night you told me that you loved me. This is what I wrote.

He Is Gone

I don't think you could ever understand.
The journey that I have been on for so long has finally ended. It has ended day lights and midnights ago, yet he still feels so close that I want to reach out my fingers and run them down his face, run them through his hair and lay beneath him as I have done so many times before.
He is gone.
He is no longer mine, which is ironic because he had never been mine in the first place. I created this romance in my head and implemented the man I saw onto him. He was perfect but his love for me was absent, his compassion something of fiction and I could not put down his narrative. His words are beautiful and his voice the most familiar sound I have ever known. I could fall asleep to his voice every night and never grow tired of the way if fluctuates with his emotions. His emotions are strong, especially anger, but desire as well. The way his fingers would press into my skin as we were pressed together, two parts of a puzzle, believing that we fit together.
He was also gentle. The way his fingers traced my back and his lips planted on my spine sent shivers throughout my entire body, a feeling in which I never wanted to let go of. When his lips kissed mine over and over I had never known the definition of perfect until then.
I remember the last time he kissed me.
He is gone.
I have never been more lost and I have no place to run. I see him every day with her and it is another stab in the chest. My heart is bleeding and I am falling apart and he is the only one who can put me back together. He is the only one who understands and he is the only one I want
But he's gone.
I am told to move on but I cannot move when I am chained to the floor
I am told that it was never serious because it was not official but there is nothing more serious than the way he looked at me that night and the way his eyes sparked like that when he laid above me
I am told that it was inevitable but how could God do such a thing like that to his children, this is too much suffering and too much pain to have ever been planned no this is not right
I am told to forget about it but how can I possibly forget about a love so strong that it pushed aside my anxiety how can I forget about a man who has meant so much to me how can I forget about love
I am told to go to my happy place but what do you do when he is your happy place, a place where you would wake up next to him, he would be there and you would embrace and kiss like you have always done, but it's different because he stayed and you could never be afraid of him leaving and never coming back
He walked right out of my front door and he never came back.
He told me that it all meant something to him,
Yet he is gone.
And I have never been more angry
I have never been more alone
I have never been more hurt
And I have never been more in love.
And I don't think you could ever understand.