The Diary of a Romantically and Gender Confused Asexual

23 March, 2015 / 35 Months, 24 Days Until I'm Eighteen

I'm supposed to be getting me driving permit soon, which I'm really scared for because I feel like I'm gonna get in an accident the first time I drive. I keep thinking about my name, and I'm still leaning toward Todd. I wish I could just skip the rest of high school. Like I could press the wait button in Skyrim in real life, and just skip. People say that "you're gonna miss all the fun memories", but what the heck is gonna be better than being a guy.

Ooh! Also I've been thinking about penises (ik kinda weird right) and I think I want one. Little penis is better than no penis. Maybe... I don't know.

My grandma gave me fifty dollars for my birthday, and so I'm going to buy fifty dollars worth of books from AbeBooks. Then one of my sisters got me a Barnes and Noble gift card and another gave me twenty dollars so I'm going to buy The Walking Dead comics, I still can't decide if I want the compendium or the separate books... But anyway the point is I'm getting a lot of books, even more of them.

So in track today I found a girl (well I already knew her but...) who makes me really really wish I were born a boy. She's so pretty and smart and talented and nice and I just wish I were a dude (well, y'know) so I could befriend her and eventually date her and we would have the cutest love story and ugh. I don't know if I'd even date her because of the whole romantic orientation thing. I'm so confused as to what mine even is. I think it's just I like what I like, which is barely anything but everything at the same time, idk where that would be put under.

I don't even know where my Brian is today. I'm in like ten different places and I keep forgetting things and idk. I say idk a lot. Idk.

I'm gonna go work on some of my books, though I'll probably just read what I already have written and move on to the next book, just like I always do. But it's whatever, goodbye.