✞𝐺𝐼𝑅𝐿 𝑂𝐹 𝑅𝑂𝐺𝑈𝐸✞

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑．

Confused....not having any clue about what she was going to do, not knowing whether this was some kind of emotional phase that she was going through, Y/N Ford was now sitting in her bio class, bopping her legs violently.

She had successfully avoided Cheryl all day and was now deciding as to what she should do next. Y/N wasn't a planned person ,that was all Ian but now she was planning to dig a hole and disappear through it. So many emotions surrounded the taller girl as she tried to pinpoint them onto one.

Cheryl was and is someone that Y/N likes but is love the word to use to describe what she felt towards Cheryl.....she didn't know. What if, what if Cheryl is going to leave her, give her something nice and then snatch it out of her hand. The abandonment issues that the Y/H/C girl had was really high right now.

Turning around she looked at Billy who was busy sketching new smilies. Reaching out to pull in one of his blonde strands Y/N whispered " hey...Bill...let's get out of here"

Not even looking back at Y/N Billy closed his book and haphazardly stuffed it into his bag and grabbed Y/N by her sleeve.

" she needs to get her blood checked it's a medical emergency" saying this and passing a sarcastic apologetic  smile to the now amused Y/H/C girl Billy pulled her out of the class.
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" Hold on hold on hold on YOU like Cheryl as in like like" Billy made a gesture with his hands as him and the taller girl sat in her Camaro listening to old jams play faintly in the background.

" I...I just don't know, it's...it's just all hard...my feelings for her is just....I don't know hard to comprehend?" Y/N frustratedly ran one of her hands through her hair as she tried to tame the unruly hair that was now perfectly aligning her forehead.

" Y/n/n...give yourself a break I mean what if she is the "ONE" you know...I mean it's not like I am the perfect person to talk about the one but giving her a chance isn't gonna hurt you."

Billy wasn't a master talker neither did he knew a lot about what to say at the right time, but when he did say something at the right time Y/N knew that she had to pay attention to what he said, cause boy did he know a lot!

That night Y/N Ford, absolutely despised herself, not once in her lifetime had she had a "girlfriend ", why all of a sudden now, its only going to add up to her problems. Looking from outside a person could only see a rebellious teenager , who played around with girls and their feelings, who made a whole scene about even the simple things in her life. But that's not the case when you are Y/N...she was a 18 year old who tried to act out of her mind rather than her heart , cause her heart usually failed her, she was an 18 year old who was in real scared of having someone to love because she knew that in the end , like in every teenage story hers would also end in a "break up"

In the end after long hours of thinking, smoking and pacing the impulsive girl decided to do what her mind said and what was the easier option, that is to resume her old playgirl methods. She wasn't happy but she was content, she didn't have to worry about ruining her reputation or letting her walls down so a girl could come and break and then leave. She couldn't deny the feelings that she had for Cheryl, yes she had a soft spot to her that she didn't have to any other girls in the school, Cheryl was her childhood friend, but even when she was with Cheryl now she couldn't ignore the fact that the last time she and Cheryl slept together was because of Y/N's rage and hatred and jealousy that she felt for Nate for being with a certain blue eyed girl. She couldn't get her mind off of that eyes , it wasn't like she was thinking about her , but the noirettes face was etched onto her mind.

How could someone feel something for another person without even exchanging a word with the other, is this what teenage 10 year olds squealed about having " a crush". But not to a frustrated 18 year old it wasn't...it was the yearn to feel someone's warmth against her, but this isn't a fairy tale or a story, where the hero could swoop in and take the girl of her dreams , this was real life, where the heroine was in her perfectly made love life and our hero could do nothing but act as if it never hurt her deep down.So the Y/H/C girl decided to bury Megan Fox deep inside her fucked up heart and not to string Cheryl anymore around...using Cheryl as a distraction was worse than letting that poor girl live her high school life peacefully without the excessive drama.

Looking outside her window, where the wind blew slowly as if not trying to add up to the stressful atmosphere of the room. Y/N walked to her music player, this was vintage, it was something that belonged to her dad. Ian had placed it in her room after they had raided through the attic. He had burned down everything that belonged to their father, who would love a dad who left two little kids in their worst time and run away like a coward. Y/N had insisted on keeping the player because it came with a beautiful memory of her mom and dad dancing around during  Friday nights, something the Y/E/C girl and her brother could never forget, infact it was the day right before their mother decided to end her life in just a piece of rope, thereby unintentionally scarring the 18 year old girl for the rest of her life.