Trouble in Paradise

Paradise x

He was drunk, glory be. The return for his deposits were much to his delight. Wonderful frothy beer, the waters of life. Yes, and the Lord was Alpha and Omega. He had one last beer in hand. A shame, but he had to enjoy it while it lasted. He had trundled through the streets spreading the good word. Most of the throng of people ignored his holy tongue, those that didn't had hate in their hearts. If only they knew the good news. He had to pee, badly. Luckily he was not too far from Paradise Pizza. An excellent dining experience. They were doing God's work too! Glory be, they were giving the bread and the wine, holy communion. He certainly couldn't pass that up. Surely they would see his troubles, and invite him in for a complimentary cup of the Lords blood. He stumbled forward until he could see the neon open sign in the window. Sanctuary at last. A place for him to drain his Holy member. He burst through the double doors, unsteady. The place looked busy. He could hear phones ringing, the slapping sound of hand tossed dough. It smelled of pizza. Blessed. They were blessed with leavened bread. It was like walking into the garden of Eden. He careened up to the counter. He was met with a shrewd young woman. "Glory be, the Lord is with us this fine night." He was as amiable as Jesus himself. The woman at the counter looked unimpressed. "You know you are banned. Get the hell out right now, or do I need to put a sign on the door that reads no homeless? Can you even read you bag shit Ukraine, how'd you get all this Jesus shit in your head? Never mind, rhetorical. Just leave." Alas, yet another lost one. What a crying shame, the fiery pits of Hell awaited this one. "I can speak in tongues, the word of God. Yahweh." He began his Holy chant. It was as if he were on top of the tower of Babel, speaking directly to the one true God. He flailed his hands wildly, as the Holy Spirit overtook him. A hand grabbed him suddenly. It was a big hand, massive even. "I thought I told you to fuck off Jesus freak." It was the goliath man from earlier, the shepherd. "oh yes, and did you find your missing sheep?" The man began dragging him towards the entrance. What trials he had to face among the nonbelievers. "Through the Holy Spirit all is known. I can speak with Him, if you can spare another dollar forty seven." Spittle flung from his mouth as he resisted unsuccessfully. The big man pushed him out into the street. He fell. Hard. Blood on his elbow. Luckily he still had his beer in hand, he managed to keep it from tipping and spilling out as he had fallen. Another small miracle, testament to God's divine will. God is good indeed. He had begun to piss himself as he propped himself back up. He finished pissing in the Alley, banished from Eden. Paradise lost. He would have to find another way to remain in his cups this day. God willing he would be blessed once more with the sickly sweet taste of Budweiser.

SMOKE BREAK "now offering half price beer pitchers every time the Jets win a game!"_________

"I never got his name, not sure if he did that on purpose, or if I just forgot." It was later now, well after the dinner rush. Jungle had apologized to him, it was a tenuous sorry at best. Now they were on the same side at least. They were brainstorming possible leads to track down the SUIT. They had to figure out what the next play was. "Government copped most of the hospital bill. Soph got Medicaid thanks to some harm reduction program or some shit. They say she is gonna need physical therapy, and speech. Maybe for a year. Maybe longer. Insurance don't cover that." He hadn't thought about the long game of all of this. Shit. His eyes were bruised black and blue and yellow now, it hurt to touch his face. It hurt to blink and to swallow. He had popped more ibuprofen than he ever had in his life. His puffed up lip stung like it got attacked by wasps, and he was allergic. "Mikey B you need to just recount everything you know so we can track this fucker." Tanya, always a voice of reason. At least a mediator for now. Jungle still didn't trust him. Why would he? Mikey B was well aware that if he hadn't humored the weird sexual request, none of this would be happening. He needed to divulge something to gain Jungle's trust. But what did he actually remember about the SUIT? "Brooklyn, think he mentioned, but he was maybe just talking about work. Stocks I think he had bragged about a few times. Said he had a wife. Bitched about her a lot too. Called her fat and ugly, a Ginger...." He paused in a moment of clarity. "What else?" They all looked impatient. "Said she was Vegan." There was another pause as they all exchanged glances. A few could understand the potential connection. "You don't think it's..." it was hard to say, maybe just a coincidence. The city was a big place, with plenty of off putting vegans to go around. It was a lead though, the only one he could muster. "So what do we know about the VEGAN?"