This is how we do.

.:I've Lost the Moon:.

A/n- so a few chapters ago i put it in 3 months behind, it is still in that position until i say ;) okaaay read on muddafriers

Vic's P.O.V.

Here we were, all if the 7 of us, Mike, Jaime, Tony, Kellin, Gabe, Tay and I, sitting in Kellins lounge waiting for myself to say something.

"I'm sorry." I finally spat out. This was nerve wracking. What if i say something wrong and they all hate me? 3/7 already do, but what if the guys hate me too. "I shouldn't have done it, and I fucked up big time-"

"You sure did!" Gabe screeched. Kellin glared at him.

"Alright. I'm fucking sorry, and I genuinely hate myself for doing it! It was extremely the wrong thing to do! I admit that! But Kellin I don't need your fucking friends to inturrup. Let me just get this out-" I took a deep breath, contemplating if I should let them know or not. Yep, here it goes. "You're not the exactly the first person I've done it to-"

"What? You've made other people feel as fucking worthless as I have?!" Kellin yelled.

"Use it as a plural. As in one!" I shouted back. "I've done this to one other and I absolutely regret it!" I started. "His name was Beau." I looked at him asking if I can continue. He nodded. I looked at the floor twiddling my thumbs. "He was Mikes friends at first, I guess I fell for him and he didn't feel the same. I wanted him sexually, he didn't want it, I drugged him, overdosed him, and, uhm-" I was crying by now. Tony scooted closer and rubbed my back trying to calm me down. I took him a really deep shaky breath. "I just miss him so fucking much." I couldn't do this anymore.

I walked out of the house onto the street. I collapsed on the road. I pulled my hair and screamed bloody murder. Someone came from behind me rubbing my back, shushing me, soothing me.

"It's okay." The voice said, it was Kellin. He pulled me into his arms and I pounded on his chest roughly, light enough for it not to hurt, but hard enough to leave a mark.

"It's not okay! I hurt you! I will never forgive myself!" I yelled into his now soaked t-shirt.

"If it was okay would I be standing here right now? Would I be comforting you in your time of need? No I wouldn't be. But look at me, I'm standing here, forgiving you. I may not trust you like I used to but I will forgive you because I can not only physically see how much its hurting you but mentally and emotionally too." He said. He was such a kind heart,

"How can you be so nice after I've been so idiotic and childish?" I asked quietly calming down.

"Because I can see that it's eating you alive on the inside." he said.

"Thank you." I said

-present time-