txt reactions ❦

»when they find out you're self harming.

//SOOBIN//
it always confused him to why you'd always wear a hoodie or something covering your arms. he'd always question you on it but you'd never give him a straight answer. you'd just tell him it was cosy, or you were actually pretty cold, even in the most warmest of weathers. he had absolutely no clue about your sad nights where you'd lay there and cry, thinking about what you wish you life was life, what you wish you looked like instead of the ugly piece of shit you are, and how all you wished for... was happiness.

you felt guilty for not telling him about what you're feeling and all you are going through, but you didn't want to make him feel as though it was his fault, or that he's not making you happy. he saved your life. every time you finally bring yourself to end your life, you see his face appear in your mind. you couldn't dare leave him in this rotting world alone. just the thought of it breaks you.

one day when you were out shopping with him, the members and your friends, you reached up to grab a piece of clothing but your sleeves fell down close to your elbows, revealing the red cuts on your arms. you quickly dropped your arms so the sleeves would fall back over your hands. you looked down at the floor and untucked your hair from your ear, covering your face from anyone staring. fear rushed through you as you worried someone had saw.

soobin was already watching you, so he saw everything. his heart dropped the second he saw your arms, but he knew it would be wrong to point it out, especially infront of everyone, so he stayed quiet. he stayed by your side the rest of the day you were out, but he didn't say anything because he wanted to have a proper talk with you later on.

it was later that night. he had invited you over to his dorm as he didn't want you going home on your own incase you'd do something bad to yourself. you were alone in his room, cuddling on his bed, and you both were in a relaxed, loving mood. he decided to talk to you about what happened earlier as it seemed like the right time and place. "jagi?", he quietly mumbled. you looked up at him, "hm?", he wasn't smiling so you were a little worried about what he was going to say.

"i don't want you to feel pressured to talk about this with me, and you totally don't have to if you don't want to, but earlier when we were out shopping, i saw your sleeves come up. it hurts me to see that, to know you're feeling so down that you'd do put yourself through physical pain just to numb your mental pain. but i know you're hurting so much worse. so i just want to tell you that that i'm always here for you to talk to, and that the way you're feeling is okay, but please.. if you're ever feeling low, just come see me.. we don't even have to talk, i just want to make sure you're somewhat okay".

you felt tears start to form in your eyes. you sniffled to try stop yourself from crying, and because of that, soobin pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

you decided to stay quiet because you didn't feel ready to talk about it yet. obviously you felt safe with him and you could trust him completely, but you were too scared and hurt to say anything at this moment of time. you layed there in silence, your bodies not an inch apart, and due to the long period of silence and your eyes heavy from the tears, you slowly drifted off into a deep sleep. soobin noticed you were asleep and placed a soft kiss on your head. "i love you so much, don't ever leave me", he whispered before resting his head against yours and falling asleep.