Antumbra - A Lost Cause

Happy Birthday - Chapter Forty Four

Mikael had never felt so helpless as he lay in bed, unable to move, unable to do anything but listen to his wife's screams in the next room. He wanted to be there, he had to be there, to be by her side as their child was born. He could not miss it, but Mom had warned him that he could not risk exposing his wife and newborn child to his sickness. She was right, of course, and so he gripped the sheets with white-blue knuckles, and endured the impotent feeling that addled him as her cries continued. Just as the sounds became unbearable, they stopped, a haunting silence overcoming the room. He thought the screaming was the worst sound in the world, but at this moment, this sudden lack of noise chilled him to the core, only for an indescribable joy to fill him as new cries echoed into his bedroom. The tiny cries of a baby, and much elated chatter. He relaxed in his bed, smiling through the coughing as he knew his child had been born safely. He wanted to rush to meet them, to be the first person they saw, but he knew he had to have patience. When he found out his wife was pregnant, he was understandably worried. Raising a child was difficult enough in the Lows, but he'd just been laid off from his job at the mills. It really wasn't the best conditions to have a baby, but at the same time he had never felt so happy. His wife, Sasha, was thrilled as well. So Mikael put his nose to the grind and contacted an old friend, who got him a job at the newly opened scrapyard. It didn't pay much, but it was reliable work, and safe for Hybrids. Things were going great until he got sick.

Illness was all too common in the Lows, but an outbreak at his new workplace about two weeks ago had bedridden him. Normally it wouldn't be such a terrifying notion, but with his wife pregnant he shuddered to think what would happen to her and their unborn child if they caught his disease. So they remained separated, communicating only through a closed door. That same door knocked, and he sat up as quickly as he could to answer.

"Come in!" Mikael said excitedly, and the door creaked open as a slender woman with weary yet soft features walked in. Though they weren't blood related, Mom had become every bit his family as she was Sasha's, and that bond was further strengthened as she held a small bundle in her arms, a smile across her pale face.

"Sasha wanted you to see her," she said.

"Her?" Mikael said, happier than ever.

"Say hello to your daughter," Mom tilted herself so the baby's face was visible to him. For the child's own safety he knew she couldn't come closer, but she was close enough that he could make out her chubby features. He was nearly brought to tears as he saw her, with his colouration and Sasha's markings. The perfect combination of her parents. He saw what looked like a full head of hair, but the way it reflected light made it look more like a tiny hat. Whatever it was, to him it was beautiful, and he cursed his inability to hold her.

"She's..." Mikael was overcome, forced to wipe tears from his eyes as he smiled, "she's perfect."

"I'm going to take her back, now," Mom said, and Mikael nodded. He knew even bringing the baby in the room was a risk, but he appreciated it. To even have a child was a gift, and he was satisfied with that.

Eventually Mikael recovered enough to leave his bed, confident the sickness had run its course, and a mere three weeks after she was brought into this world, he was able to hold his daughter in his arms for the first time. He and his wife had agreed on the name, Arva, in memory of Sasha's older brother Arvo who had passed away several years ago during the Pale Umbra. He had been a worker for the same steel mill Mikael had recently been employed at, and if it wasn't for him they would have never been able to get a house. It only seemed fitting to honour him in some small way, and she was small. When Mikael held her she almost weighed nothing to him, but she looked healthy. She had given Mom quite the shock when she came out, though, fearing she was blue from lack of air, but Sasha and Mikael loved the colour. Aside from it, her markings, and the odd 'hair' on her head, she was remarkably normal. So normal in fact, the prospect of her having a good life seemed entirely plausible. Hybrids were gaining rights now, the Government had just begun relief efforts and a ration program, and so limited amounts of food, water, and electricity were now being supplied to homes. It wasn't much, but the people didn't have to worry about starving, or freezing to death in the winter. This baby had a future, one made all the more brighter by her nearly human-like appearance. Though she could've had four arms and a beak and she'd still be the most beautiful thing in his world. Mikael and Sasha spent day and night with her, and basked in the fact that their family now felt whole.

It did not last, as soon Mikael got sick again. Or rather, the illness had never left, it had simply gone dormant, but the symptoms never truly went away. Now they were becoming more apparent, more debilitating. He felt weak all the time, which made work nearly impossible, and he'd frequently run a fever and suffer coughing fits. So he ended up bed-ridden once more, again for the safety of his family, but it was a necessary sacrifice. It hurt, but he was grateful for the time he spent with his wife and daughter. However, he soon learned the extent of his actions when he began to hear his wife coughing from time to time. This grew in frequency until one day Mom had entered his room, a solemn look on her grey face.

"Sasha..." she said, "she's getting worse. She's... having trouble standing."

"Oh God..." Mikael covered his face with his hands. She was sick now as well, and both of them were confined to their beds. Mom assured him though that Arva was fine, and that she was taking care of her. Some Hybrids were more resistant to illness than others, and luckily Mom was one of them, but Mikael was still worried. His worries only grew as he and his wife's conditions worsened, and he used the last of his strength to move into her room so they could be together. There was no longer a threat of contamination, they were both equally as sick, they might as well share a bed. When he first saw his wife, stricken with disease, it broke his heart. She was pale, visibly weak, and gaunt in the face. She had lost so much weight since giving birth, which was a concern before, but now Mikael knew. He stayed with her, the two keeping each other company as their conditions grew worse, until one morning he woke up and she didn't. At first he thought she was simply slow to rise, but he knew. Deep down he always knew, and he could feel it in himself. When Mom had come to the door, he urged her to stay back, and she knew immediately what had happened.

"Mom," Mikael asked her as she stood at the door, "please take care of Arva."

"Of course," she said without hesitation. Tears rolled down her face, but she didn't weep.

"I'm sorry..." Mikael said to her, holding his wife's hand as he looked at her still body, "I'm sorry I couldn't repay you for all you've done."

"You owe me nothing, dear," Mom said, watching him until the end.

"Thank you," he said, his voice nearly giving out from weakness. He took one more look at Sasha. She looked peaceful, like she was simply asleep. Her skin was always pale, and seemed almost like a doll, and he rested his head against hers.

Mikael passed away shortly after, perhaps unable and unwilling to carry on without Sasha, yet confident his daughter was in safe hands. Confident she would have a future. Mom knew when it happened. She could feel it in her heart as she watched them and returned to Arva. The baby girl was still in her crib, fast asleep, her odd little head laying to one side. As she looked at the infant, peaceful and serene, she could see her little face contort as if to cry. No tears came out, no sound escaped her lips, but she could tell something was wrong. Mom gently stroked Arva's head as she calmed down, and let her go back to sleep.