Antumbra - A Lost Cause

Nowhere to Hide - Chapter Sixty Four

Arva hadn't slept, she couldn't. She had plenty of sleep on the boat ride, and any attempt to escape into her dreams was foiled by nightmarish recollections of the IRT base, her duel for survival, her near death in the frozen wastelands, and a broken family. It didn't get easier, so she kept her mind preoccupied with training and exercise, running laps around the base in the dead of night. Apparently the climate-controlled Habitat conserved heat at night, so the naturally cool air felt familiar to her, and though her body was covered in sweat, she could still see her breath. She pushed herself to her limits, stopping only to hydrate. It hurt, especially her ribs, but physical pain could be suffered and overcome. What she felt inside was inescapable. So she ran, her pace steady and consistent, and each time she made a lap she glanced towards the hangar. It was locked down, the doors sealed shut with armed guards posted. The guards didn't trust her, and admittedly for good reason, as she likely would have absconded with Antumbra to find Marcus otherwise. For now, though, all she could do was bide her time. Boomer said she should relax, and even the highly regimented Kyodai recommended she enjoy the downtime whilst she could. She hadn't told them how bad it was sitting idle, how hard it was for her to be left alone with her thoughts. She was certain they knew all too well, but it's why she couldn't confide in them. They had every right to hurt the way they did, but deep down Arva still felt unworthy. So she suffered in silence, pushing herself as she never had, and almost tripped in the dark as a voice cut through the frigid night.

"What in the Goddamn are you doing out here?" Boomer asked from the doorway to the barracks as Arva slowed down, "it's like one o'clock in the morning, shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep?"

"What do you want?" Arva huffed, grabbing a bottle of water from the nearby bench and chugging it down.

"Jeez, don't gotta be all snippy," he said, "just making sure you're okay."

"Sorry," she said breathlessly, then tried again with more sincerity, "I'm sorry, it's just... I can't just sit around. I need to do something."

"There's still my go-to cure all," he held up a bottle of amber liquid, "hell, things have gone to hell so bad even the El-tee doesn't care if I drink."

"No, thank you," Arva squirmed at the memories of her last binge, "I can't fight it that way."

"How can you, then?" Asked Boomer, leaning on the doorway as he drank.

"I don't know... don't think I can," she sighed, sitting down as her muscles ached from the running, "there's nothing I can do, is there? For as important as he thought I was, I'm just... I've accomplished nothing."

"Is that really what this is all about?" Boomer asked, "you just want to find the Captain because he told you you were special? Do you have any idea how-"

"Pathetic that sounds?" Arva finished for him, "yes. Don't worry, I've given myself a hard time about that. But it's more than that. He wanted me to make a better world, one where people don't have to suffer."

"Like how?" Boomer asked, and Arva realized for the first time that he was indeed someone who grew up on the Habitat. Though he treated her with respect, he didn't know how she and other Hybrids lived. It made sense, the Habitat was a big place, and few traveled from up where they were to the ground below.

"He wanted to change things, between the surface and the Habitat," she said in between sips, "where people aren't treated differently because of where they live, or what they look like."

"Is it that bad?" Boomer asked, seemingly genuine in his curiosity.

"It got better, for a while," she admitted, "when I was growing up there wasn't a lot to go around. The Lows weren't supplied basic things like power and fresh water regularly, only when it became too bad. It technically counts as a relief effort, because things were so difficult. Hybrids can't get good work often, and when they do it's only a fraction of what humans make. We aren't human, so 'basic human rights' don't apply to us."