Oblivion {James Rodriguez} {Book ONE}

these four walls

I rushed into Carter's office that morning with butterflies and an unsettling sensation in my stomach. I had spent the entire night yesterday worrying about what he was going to tell me. I badly hoped it was the easiest, most convenient solution, because I was certainly not ready to personally combat Kerensky that morning.

"Thank God you're here," He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw me rush into his office. He walked behind me and closed the door.

"So what have you got?" I asked as I sat down on one of his chairs.

"Okay, so here's what we're going to do..."

All throughout his lesson, I listened with keen interest. Some details about his plan greatly concerned me, but there are also a handful of things that were justifiable and made sense.

One could tell by the way Carter designed this plan that he obviously knows what he's doing. He's drawn up countless amounts of plans like this before; no wonder this one was so accurate and effective.

I admit, I still did feel a bit weary about this entire thing. I guess it was the nerves more than anything. When I first picked up Kerensky's case, I thought I was going to be peacefully investigating it in the safety of my own desk and laptop. I would have never guessed I was just hours away of taking him down with my very own hands.

"So, thoughts?" He looked up at me hopefully once he finished explaining.

"Really good. But I'm hiding behind you the entire time." I added seriously.

He gave me an amused smile that made my chest feel light. "Coming from you, I can hardly believe."

"Oh?" I said with a questioning tone as I leaned back on the chair. "How so?"

He meets my gaze. I can tell that he's enjoying this conversation by the way his fierce blue eyes twinkle just a tiny bit.

"You always seem to be calm, collected." He pointed out. "Fearless, bold..."

"I appreciate it, but sometimes I'm not." I did not know how to handle his flattery, so the best way was denial.

"Me too." He admitted softly. He averted his gaze from me to an empty spot on the wall.

"What's wrong?" I asked after a while of watching him get tangled in his own thoughts.

"You know, sometimes I just feel like it all happened too quickly." He said randomly.

I gulped. "What are you talking about?" I knew exactly what he was talking about.

His eyes met mine again. They had a remorseful edge, like he was almost grieving with them. By the intensity he looked at me, I could notice that he really wanted me to be able to figure out the words from his mouth before he said it.

"I don't know," He sighed, giving up.

"Carter, don't do that." I snapped sharply.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't make a statement, and then abandon your reasons."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Why are you acting weird?" I retaliated.

"I'm not. At all." He replied defensively.

'Oh yeah?' I wanted to say. 'What about that day at the park? What about that time at Melissa's house? Are all of these normal in your universe?'

But, of course, voicing these feelings were not an option. I did not want to open myself to him just yet, when everything between us was so freshly-cut and unfamiliar. It would be like opening Christmas presents in late November, or having dessert before the main meal.