Love, Mom

Chapter Five

Lily frowned.

"Do you have a problem with that?" She asked, anger in her voice.

"Babe, it's okay," Elena assured her, squeezing her hand.

"No, of course not," replied Dr. James. "The situation is just ... Unusual."

"You said it," Elena replied with a smile. "I've been a woman since I was six and I've been on puberty blockers until I was fourteen, when I stopped because of unwanted side effects."

"Alright, that's good to know. So, same questions. Date of birth?"

"January 15th 2003. I'm seventeen and I'm a senior in high school."

"Are you on any medication?"

"No."

"Are you suffering from a disease or a deformity?"

"No."

"Are there any diseases transmitted in your family?"

"No."

She tapped her keyboard a little more before looking up.

"Alright, I think that's all. Now, I need a blood and urine sample and I'll measure your blood pressure."

Lily hesitated a long second to get up before following her to the padded table. She awkwardly sat on it, swinging her legs nervously.

"Okay," the doctor interjected seeing her anguish more and more. "I have to touch you for this exam but if you start to feel overwhelmed, just tell me and we will take a break."

"Can I come and hold her hand?" Elena asked.

"Of course."

The girl got up in her turn to go and place her hand in Lily's, who squeezed it forcefully.

"I'll start with your blood pressure."

She tied a padded bracelet around her arm, grabbed the thread connected to a small rubber balloon and a few other instruments, then began to press on the balloon, gradually inflating the bracelet. Lily let it go, concentrating on Elena's hand which fitted perfectly into hers.

"Alright, it's done."

She removed the bracelet from her arm and leaned towards her tray filled with instruments. Lily turned to Elena and decided to take a close look at the few moles stinging her shoulders. They were beautiful and she loved kissing them. That's what she needed to think about; kissing Elena.

The doctor passed a disinfectant cotton pad on her arm.

"It'll sting a bit."

Lily squeezed Elena's hand a little tighter, and she rested the second on her knee, patting her skin with her fingertips. Understanding the message, Lily concentrated on the feeling, gradually deciphering the message typed in Morse code. She barely felt the sting as she understood that Elena was telling her 'I love you'.

"All done," the doctor said, placing a cotton pad on the inside of Lily's elbow. "How are you feeling?"

"Pregnant."

Elena and the doctor laughed.

"I'm okay," Lily added.

"Alright. Last thing, all I need is a sample of urine."

She handed her a small plastic jar, which Lily took hesitantly.

"The restroom is right across," the doctor indicated.

"Do you need me to go with you?" Elena asked.

"No. I'll be fine."

"Okay."

Lily walked through the door, crossed the hallway to the bathroom, and locked herself in a cubicle.

Everything was perfectly clean, polished with care, it smelled of cleaning products. Lily liked this toilet better than the one she found out she was pregnant in. She looked at the clear plastic jar, unscrewed the red lid. She remained motionless, the jar and the lid in each hand.

Awkwardly, she removed her panties and leaned over the toilet, holding her dress over her arm. She tried to aim for the jar but a good part sank next to it. Lily closed the jar with a shaking hand before placing it on the floor.

When she left the cabin, jar in hand, she walked over to the sinks and washed her hands thoroughly. It was as she looked up that she met her own gaze, and her heart skipped a beat.

Her hair was tangled, her skin pale, she was tiny and skinny. She did not have the build of a pregnant woman.

She did not have the build of a pregnant woman.

Nauseous, Lily leaned against the edge of the sink, looked down, taking a deep breath. She pressed her arms to her chest, tried to regulate her heartbeat. Unsuccessful, she grabbed the little jar and left the toilet to go to the doctor's office.

Elena gave her a single look to realize that something was wrong. Lily nodded slightly and her girlfriend turned to the doctor with a smile.

"I'm so sorry, we'll have to hurry, we have something we can't be late for."

What the doctor replied or the conversation that followed, Lily had no idea. Her gaze fixed on the floor, she was content to hold back her tears and slow down her heartbeat.

Elena led her through the clinic, distributing goodbyes as she crossed the hall, opened the door and led her outside.

Lily waited until she got to the parking lot before breaking down.

Tears began to flow, her heart pounded in her chest, her trembling legs gave way under her and she slowly fell to her knees on the floor. Elena carefully wrapped her arms around her, trying to see if Lily was rejecting her. But the young girl was crying, more and more loudly.

Her chest ached and she wanted to throw up. She had difficulty breathing, she couldn't see where she was. She only noticed that Elena was hugging her tightly, putting pressure on her ribs as she whispered.

"Lily, honey, it's okay. It's okay. You can cry. You're okay. It's gonna be okay. You'll be okay."

And Elena hugged her, for a long time, as Lily cried in the clinic parking lot.