Rock Bottom (Captorcest)

Picking Up

It's not unlikely that Sollux was moping more than he should have, and there was a time and a place to accept the facts of life and if at anytime there was one, it was now. Mituna did not remember him as his lover and there was nothing he could change about that, it was a fact of life. Life was the never ending cycle of breathing he would learn to cope with.
Despite the fact he wasn't exactly the same he was still Mituna though his personality did differ to the slight. It didn't matter. He was still Sollux's brother, he still loved him whether or not. With this in mind, he finally managed to leave the safety of his bedroom officially. He didn't even need Kurloz's help this time, which made him a bit proud.

But despite this, he couldn't seem to make himself talk to Mituna.
"Hey thollutthhh!!!"
"..." 
"Thol? Watthhth wrong?" 
Sollux preditably says nothing, and just shrugs using the silence as a reason to leave the room inwhich he inhabited moments before. He could live, but he couldn't live like that. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it wasn't the same Mituna at all. Maybe his brother and this man were swapped at the hospital, it was unlikely, but something he was almost ashamed to wish had happened. Mix ups could be fixed. Damaged brains could not. He takes a moment to be thankful no one was the on back deck, so he would not have to answer any questions. In summary, he was being very counter productive with himself. So there he sat with a sigh, on the rocking chair he sat in the last time he had visited the place, and fireflies were the only concern.

"You're really going to beat yourself up over this aren't you?"

Sollux looks up confused blinking at the sight of Eridan starring at him, the lower half of his face bundled in a scarf, which made Sollux finally aware of the chill. 

"What the fuck do you want ED. Aren't you supposed to be visiting KK?"
"He had to cut the visit short because of a test he had to study for, and I w-was gettin' in the w-way apparently."
"Typical."

Eridan rolled his eyes sitting in the wooden chair adjacent to Sollux's. 
"W-whatever, that's not what were talkin' about right now, Sol."
"And what are we talking about?"
"How do you think of him, Mituna."
"I love him. He's...Was. just him."

Eridan nods stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, the jacket being an obnoxious shade of purple that was irritatingly close to the color of the purple stripe in his hair. Sollux holds back his sarcastic  comments hinting for Eridan to get to the point.

"And now?"

Sollux paused for a moment thinking. 

"He's...different. He's not my Mituna. He's some strange person who looks like him."

"Sollux you need to stop moping around. He may not be the same brother, and you can mourn this, but you can't sulk around ignoring him, he's your brother! Whether or not he's the same Mituna you once knew doesn't change the fact that he's who he is now. Bite the bullet and talk to him. Mourn your lost love but don't fucking ruin your life over it. You have to keep him alive within you."

Sollux growled getting up from his seat and shot daggers at Eridan, who only placidly blinked up at him, waiting for his response. 

"You talk about him like he's dead!"

Eridan clicks his tongue before tersely commenting, "You act as if he's dead."
Sollux scowls and storms off of the deck spluttering curses ignoring the stinging tears in his fury. Eridan sighs and stands eyes flicking to the padio door, where Mituna stand mouth hanging open and gripping his shirt as if it was the only thing keeping him there. It's quite possible it was. Silently he and Mituna acquiescence that they would not be speaking about what he heard. Mituna ran out of view inside. Eridan stalked back to his home.

Mituna was contemptuous of his memories, they often faded in and out like the sun on a cloudy day. He hated how he expunged his memories without a thought, without even meaning to. Mituna slammed the bathroom door fiercely. He wryly leans his weight against the sink and stares at his reflection, his vision largely hindered by the fact his bangs had grown out once again. He was confused he was scared he wanted to talk to Latula he wanted to see Sollux smiling he wanted to scream.

He does not scream, despite the incensed anger pouring through him. He pushed his bangs back and starred at himself, his teeth large causing his lisp, his mismatched eyes, him. Everything was dumb stupid and he just wanted his brother happy and to have everything be okay. What was so important that Sollux would be so recluse?

_________________________________________________________________
Mituna did not come down for dinner, instead he stay closed off in his room in a sloppy mess of blankets held up between his dresser and his desk, which could be loosely categorized as some sort of blanket fort. His gameboy lay tured on abandoned beside him while he smiled at the computer screen in front of him, Skype was a glorious thing.

"Thath w-what I thaid! but Thimon thayth not to take it perthonally."
"Hmm...I'm not sure what to say honey bee." Her voice slightly static, connection was never the best up in the woody lake areas. Her expression consisted of a thin frown and furrowed brows. There wasn't much she could do this far away from them, and maybe that was the point. 
"I guess just try to get along with him. Do you know where he is?"
"Thimon thayth h-he knowth but he won't tell me. He thayth it's Thollux'th private place."
"Uh huh. Okay, well, I would just try to have fun despite what he says."
"Latula?"
Latula blinked and looked at her screen studying her boyfriends face. 
"Yes?"
"Do you know why Tholluth is tho thad? You theemed to know when h-he wath yelling."
Latula went silent looking around her room stalling before looking back at her screen, Mituna's face contorted into confusion and curiosity, she could tell he was fidgetting through the screen. 
"No." It was a terrible lie, any normal person would be able to tell, which made her feel all the more guilty when he smiled at her and nodded. "Thath okay! I jutht wondered." He believed her. He trusted her that much. 
"Mituna I have to go, I'll talk to you later okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you."
"I love you too!"
Mituna and Latula both leave the call. Mituna wonders why his tongue feels heavy, like lead and reluctance. Latula shuts down her laptop pushing it to the side and stares at the ceiling of the apartment she shared with the Captor boys at one point, and the guilt burning in her stomach is enough to make her feel ill.