Ambivalent

Happy Birthday

Your POV

After the festival we were given a week long break. Some of my classmates chose to visit family. I didn't thing going to prison for the week would be very fun though. 

The last day of break is my birthday. I do the same thing on my birthday every year, visit Mom's grave. My plans haven't changed. As I left my dorm, Deku walked towards me.

"I know you aren't a fan of your birthday, but I still hope you have  a nice birthday." he said.

"Thank you. You haven't told anyone else though right?" I questioned.

"Nobody besides me and Kattchan know." he assured.

When I arrived to the breakfast table, I noticed fast food burritos.

"Hey Ko, you wanna go with us to the mall?" Hagakure asked.

"No sorry, I have plans." I answered. I then grabbed a burrito to go and headed out. I let Mr.Aizawa know I would be out, so I didn't have to bother with it today.

I knew were to turn at every corner, every light, every tree which lined the way there. I had engraved in my memory. I stopped at the flower shop on my way there.

"What can I do for you today?" the man greeted.

"Is it possible for me to get 10 sunflowers?" I asked.

"Coming right up!" The man then moved to the back of the store  were he pulled at a bouquet until 10 beautiful flowers popped out. After paying I was right on my way. The cemetery wasn't far from the flower shop.

As I walked, I noticed the tall rusty gates. I opened it a bit and slipped through. Mom's grave wasn't very hard to find either. As I walked up, I noticed the dirt starting to take control of the tomb stone. I rubbed some off with my sleeve.

I then placed the flowers at the foot.

"Hey mom." I greeted.

"Can't believe it's been 10 years...Life isn't going great right now. I'm glad we found your killer, but it hurts know it was dad. My life feels pointless now that I've solved the case. Haha, the mystery of your death was the only thing keeping me alive I guess." I spoke.

"I miss you."

"Did you know what Dad's intentions were? Your lawyer told me you transferred all your money to go directly to me one day. If you knew he was a bad guy, why'd you stay?" I asked. Maybe it was pointless talking a to a grave, but I like to think  Mom was sitting there on the grave. 

Tears ran down my cheeks as I started describing everything going on.

"I miss you so much." I repeated several times. 

Maybe today was the day I could finally join her. 

I had no purpose of being here anymore. I was just wasting space at this point. 

The world would be a lot better without me in it. It isn't like I ever played an important role here anyway. The sun and moon would still rise and fall if I left. Maybe someone would be sad, but they'd get over it  fast.

Part of my mind hoped I forgot and just return back to the dorms, but my body wouldn't allow it. 

I had thought over how I wanted to kill myself several times. Overdose seemed like the best option.

I strolled into the convenience and picked up a 100 tablet bottle of Asprin. I then moved to check out and got my items. 

"Have s nice day." the cashier said.

It was going to be very nice indeed.

It was around 5 when I got back. Tonight was shoji's night to cook. I saw him adding oil to a pan when I walked in.

Most of the kids sat in the commons talking. I went up to my room and looked at the piano.  It was probably horribly out of tune, but I decided I should play it before I die. 

I sat on the stool. There's only one song I still remembered how to play. I started on G.

"Happy birthday to me , happy birthday to me , happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me." I whisper cried as I played along.

I sat on the stool for awhile, then got to work writing my note. My tears soaked the pages as I wrote. About half way writing, I heard shoji knock, telling me dinner was ready.

"Sorry Shoji, I'm afraid I'm not hungry." I sniffled. Based on his foot steps, I think he was hesitate to leave, but decided to. 

I wrote private notes to some specific people, some general too.

I then signed off and that leads me to here. Laying on my bed, open bottle in hand, large water bottle at my side.

Goodbye world

Then I took the first pill.

Shoji's POV

"She said she wasn't hungry." I stated as I took my seat at the table.

"She says that a lot." Tsu noticed.

She did, she only ever ate dinner with us a couple times a week.

But I think today was different, she sounded like she was crying.

"We can check on her tomorrow, I just wanna dig into my food!" Kaminari yelled!

The next morning, we notice Ko wasn't there for breakfast either.

"Maybe she's running late?" Uraraka offered.

Then came time for class.

"Did Ko alert you about her absence?" Iida asked Mr.Aizawa when he noticed her empty seat.

"No." Mr.Aizawa seemed a surprised.

Through the lesson, we worried about her. Something didn't feel right with me. Ko wasn't the girl to cry over nothing.

After getting out of class, we decided to check on her.

"Ko?" Mina knocked on her dorm door.

"Ko?" she knocked a little louder.

"I'm worried about her." Hagakure said.

"We should ask Mr.Aizawa if he can check on her." Iida decided. Using his quirk, he went to go get Mr. Aizawa.

When he returned, we saw Mr.Aizawa holding his master key.

He first called out to her first," Ko?"

Then he tried a little louder, but it was no use. 

"Be silent if you want us to come in." Mr.Aizawa ordered. When no sound came, he slipped his key into the slot.

She laid on her bed, a bottle of something laid to her side.

I could see Mr.Aizawa tense when he saw the label. He quickly ran over to her checking for her pulse. He frantically checked for anything, but gave up after a good five minutes.

"She's gone."