Degraded

Chapter 1-Sam

Plastering on a smile, I stroll through the hallways making sure not to call attention to myself. I turn the corner and walk straight into the cafeteria for lunch. This day was going to be just like the rest.

"How was your day?" My friend Becca greets me.

Here's the thing about Becca, she has known me for awhile now and because of that, she always knows when something is up. It can be a blessing and a curse.

"The usual." I say, making sure to not sound completely unenthusiastic so Becca doesn't suspect something is up. I smile, but as hard as I try, it never quite reaches my eyes.

She plunges into her blabber-talk about her weekend and I mentally sigh. She rambles on about how she met some jock at the bowling alley. However, I choose to let her do the talking, like I always do.

I see the familiar twitch of her eyebrow and I immediately know she is suspicious. She knows, I think. No.

I shake my head and pull the notion from my mind. Despite my raging thoughts, I attempt to change the subject, trying to stay focused on talking.

"Did you hear about that guy who almost threw up in class?" I say, catching her attention.

"Yah, that was so gross! He made me want to puke. If they puke, I puke, you know how it goes." She rambles on, and I knew it worked.

Someday she will figure out, the voice which is always in my head says. I call her Beatrice.

I choose to show people a different side of me. Nobody knows the real me and I like to keep it that way, my mind is a vault I choose to keep locked. I could get the key and let people in, but that would bring disturbing memories that I would rather not share. Perhaps that is all you need to know, for now.

~~~

When lunch finally ends, I go to the counselors office. Since my brothers crash (if I dare bring it up), the authorities notified the school that I needed counseling. So, they force me to go every day after lunch. Needless to say, it's my favorite part of the day.