Butterflies

Chapter 35

Billy held Violet's hand as they crossed the hall to his mum's hotel. Room 2307 it read, Billy knocking three times with a sigh. His confidence surged from having her hand in his, like the flower of healing, pumping him through with the energy to face his dead father. They waited a few seconds and the door opened, his mum exhaling when she saw him. The obviously dyed red hair was foreign to Violet, but the floral shirt reminded her of the man stood next to her. As she took note of the couple's hands, Billy's mum appeared slightly confused, or perhaps shocked, or maybe even happy... Violet couldn't explain the feelings she was radiating.

"Hello, mum," Billy said, stepping inside to give her a hug, "this is Violet. My um... My partner."

Blushing from his sudden use of a name for their odd courtship, Violet tilted her head down and shook the woman's hand, "it's lovely to meet you Mrs Butcher."

"Likewise," she grinned to Violet before raising her eyes to Billy, "come with me son."

Although being greeted nicely by her son, his mother was suddenly anxious, crossing the room almost timidly. What waited on the balcony, Violet herself was nervous to think about it.

"Now, don't hate me," his mum pleaded.

"Why would I hate you?" Billy replied, following out to the open door, Billy taking a few steps out before looking to his left. He froze for a moment, transcended by whatever, or whoever, was there with him.

"Look, I'm sorry. It was my idea, but you wouldn't come any other way," his mum stood in the way of the door, Billy trying to get passed but falling short, "look, look, look, don't. He hasn't got much time."

So his dad was sat on the balcony. Violet crouched and looked out the window, finding the silhouette of a man similar to Billy.

"Not my problem," Billy glared down at her, "that's yours, cause you stayed with the cunt."

"Have I ever asked you for anything? Ever?"

Reluctantly, Billy stepped back outside to where is father waited. Violet knew he would not want her to intervene, so instead she took a seat in the small made up lounge. And a waiting game began, Violet unable to know what to say to someone she had always wanted to meet. She had opened up so much about her past and what had happened, but she had never known about Billy's, about Lenny and why Billy is how he is. Suppose she was robbed of knowing, that Billy was so closed in she never had the chance to know him before they met.

It can be easier to find out then it can be to ask. It can be easier to wait and wait until it comes up in conversation or a memory appears than it is to just ask someone "what was your father like?" or "what type of man did your parents make you?". If only it was a simple question, if only those with terrible parents were able to just speak and let it all out. But unfortunately that's usually a fault of the terrible parents, and that's why they don't shout it from the heavens. Violet always refused to tell people her parents names or her childhood town, because those never existed. She wondered if that was the same for those who did know those things, that they were spoiled by horrible people so there's no use of telling. Only refusing to remember.

They sat in an awkward silence, which Violet regretted every second of. She should be speaking, being the impressive girlfriend not the shy one who sits in the corner. Violet's not shy, Violet is hardly shy, but Violet was currently twiddling her thumbs as Billy's mother stared out the window. Why wouldn't she speak? Talk about how they met and eventually just gush over the man outside. Is that not what Violet wanted? She had only been Billy's girlfriend for about half an hour, and she already didn't know how it worked. She'd never been someone's girlfriend.

One day maybe she'll be used to the word, maybe it'll develop further. Who was she to sit and hope for a future? It used to be a successful musician, now most places would respectfully lock their doors before letting her inside. How could she predict a future? She only wanted it to be with him. And they could hear the two men's voices outside, both itching each time one voice grew louder. Though as a thud hit the wall, Billy's mum jumped up almost instantly.