It only takes a week

Monday (10)

Thank you for reading this far! It really means alot!

After about 10 minutes of complete silence, Alexander decides to end it with a question for me "Is it hard to be famous" I open my eyes, returning to reality "Sometimes, i didn't even know you knew i was famous" He chuckles "Well I've always known" I look over at him and he's smiling down into the ground, He interrupts me "I loved your moms acting skills'' he says, nearly embarrassed by his statement. I laugh "Well so did everyone else, thats why shes an actor now" "Yeah, i just wanted you to know" "Thank you, it can be difficult to manage, being an idol to some" "Idol" he repeats "Yes an idol, know let me finish what i was sayin" "Yes ma'am" he mocks but he shuts his mouth after that "It can be difficult to be an idol for many young girls and being a person, who's capable of failing" He nods, without uttering a word "But the money is great'' he laughs "I can image'' he adds. "So what have you bought thats so expensive" he ask "Well it's not what i've bought, but what my mom bought for us" "Right" he says "Yeah, she buys ridiculous stuff that i don't even need" "But, she buys you stuff, that's lucky, the only thing my mom he ever bought me is a pack of cigarettes'' i laugh "Im sure shes bought you something when you were little" "No" he says blankly staring down on his chewed nails. "But it's not what she buys you or me, it's the touch im craving, the mothers touch" He looks at me like i've set the most ridiculous thing in the world "What" i ask "You crave your mothers touch" i nod, looking back at him, feeling stupid for saying it. The silence alerted him "It's okay Gen, it's i get it, i haven't hugged my moms since the age of five" i look at him, then looking down on the ground again. Revisiting the memories of my mother, enjoying herself, enjoying life, but never with me. I try to remember the last time she kissed my forehead or the last time she hugged me. My eyes started to water, and I could feel my throat narrowing. I stand up, wiping the little tear of my cheek "Im sorry Gen, I'm sorry" I shake my head, just standing, feeling my feet carrying the weights of my wandering thoughts. When I suddenly feel a warm sensation on my shoulder. A vague grip, a hand, spreading warmth throughout my body. I close my eyes imagining it's my mothers hand. The ghost of my mother's tenderness, finally holding me, but it's Alexander and not her, that's the sad reality making me sob. I ball my eyes out, making rain fall from my eyes, and Alexander's hands twist me around, having my face buried deep into his cigarette stained shirt. His warmth gently traces down and up my back. "Im sorry Gen" he whispers into my scalp. My hands are shielding my heart, letting him know, the distance between me and his body is decided by me.

I look up at him "Alex" i whisper "Mm" he mumbles into my hair, with his cheek resting on my head "Who am i without love" i place my head into his chest again, smelling his scent deep down in my nostrils, filling my lungs with the familiar feeling of home. Not in the materialistic sort of home, the feeling of belonging to someone, the feeling of creating a home in someone. "You're still you" The bell rings, declaring his wise words. I step out of the hug, feeling the cold breeze wrap around my body like a snake, strangeling its next offer and my arms immediately cross across my chest, trying to survive the grip it has over me. "Are you cold?" I sniffled. When he asked "Just a little" I answered I let out a strangled laugh escaping my clattering lips. "Here" he handed me his jacket and swung it across my shoulders, feeling his warmth again, but it wasn't him. He stands looking at the sky, avoiding my puffy eyes. "Thank you" "No worries" he taps his thighs "I should go Alexander" "Its" he clears his throat "Its Alex" My heart skipped a beat, i had won his trust in one day. "Thank you" i hold a long pause "Alex" he laughs "You should get some rest or something" "Yeah, i'll rest, see you at midnight" He waves and i turn around Stepping towards the little door, walking on uneven brick path "Wait" he spurt out and i freeze, fearing his asking for his jacket back, but to my surprise he just asked for his cigarettes. "Here" I say, throwing the little packet at him, he catches it, waving goodbye as he puts one it between his lips. "Goodbye Alex" I say, holding on to his jacket, walking through the dusty room out onto the hallway. I would never have thought a place like that could exist in a prison. I smile at the ground thinking about midnight, thinking about spending more time with him, I take my phone from my inner pocket, looking at my messages. Cat has texted me Sorry for being a dick, can we meet later? I type, surprised she wanted to see me again. Sure when? I press send looking down the hallway, seeing the emptiness lying before me, i have to make this my home, whether i like it or not. I turn walking down to my room, I fidget with the small key for a hot minute, before opening the door. I entered my own kingdom after a long day. I dropped Alex's jacket on the little chair guarding the small desk, decorated with one sad framed family picture, a cup holding my two pencils and a single ballpoint pen. And some scented candles. I empty my pockets out on the table, before laying down, onto my undone bed. The mattress squeaks. Was this destiny? Or am I just lucky. I close my eyes.

I knock awake from my slumber, I rub my eyes before opening the door. "Gen" "Cat" I answered, yawning "Do you maybe wanna grab dinner with me?" "Dinner" I repeat, slowly realising that I've slept for a long time, maybe too long for a young adult. "Yes dinner, dinner is served soon, so i thought we could grab some together" I stretch my back, making a loud cracking sound "Sure" i say as her face lights up "Okay then, we should get going" She points down the hallway "Yeah, le me just grab my phone real quick" She leans against the frame, looking into my room, as i turn around, taking my phone down in my wrinkled jacket. "Let's go then" I say down to my table, taking the small key also. We walk down the hall with little distance between us "Sorry i got mad" Cat mumbles as we enter the cantine "It's fine, it my fault" "How so" she ask, as we inter the line "I should have been ops on you, im sorry, should we get over this" "Yes, i'm already over it, but i overreacted" "Just a little" "So how was music class" i ask, as i take my tray and silverware, we move closer to the food, i can smell the cheap pasta sauce mass produced to feed the hungry children, who can't taste the difference between fabric and a prober kitchen "Is the food made on canvas" Cat giggles "No, i once saw a cardboard box labeled chicken nuggets" I laugh "Nice to know" its the same grumpy lady giving me dinner as she was for breakfast. "What do you want to Drink? I can go and get it for you, you can find our place" she offers as we leave the queue "Fanta thank you" i scout for a place to sit and a single table is empty all the way in the back. I sigh before I start walking, passing many students offering for me to sit, but I gratefully decline. It's a sweet gesture, but I promised Cat I would eat with her.