undercover | jungkook

'love' is a strong word

Y/N's pov

Even though my body was in excruciating pain, my heart hurt the worst, seeing Jungkook tied up like that just kills me.

I heard him let out a small laugh. I looked up.

"Y/N," he uttered. "Can I tell you a story?"

I looked at him in confusion. "A story? Jungkook, we need to get out of here. Tell me a plan."

"Y/N," He said in such an unhopeful voice. "I don't think we're both going to be getting out of here alive."

"Jungkook, don't say that. Please, don't say that." I cried. "I have hope for us. I-"

"Please, just listen to me."

I stayed silent and listened.

"I remember in 9th grade, I had my first real girlfriend," he began. "Her name was Miya. I remember we would go to the movies every weekend and we talk in class about music and tv shows. One day I took her onto the roof of our school for lunch and I told her I loved her for the first time.

I hadn't told anyone I loved them ever since my mom and sister died and I haven't told anyone I loved them after Miya. She said it back and after that we would tell eachother how much we love one another every second, every minute and everyday.

We had only been dating for 2 weeks but we still acted like we were married. About three weeks later, she broke up with me for another guy. I didn't care about her as anything more than a friend really but the fact that I told her I loved her and she didn't mean it back.. hurts.

The words had lost its value. I had another girlfriend in 11th grade for a few months and another in my senior year of college. Both times I never told them I loved them because.. I don't know. I guess I was just scared."

"Jungkook, why are you telling me this?," I asked. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to give you an explanation, Y/N. I've never open up about my feelings or anything to anyone since my mom and sister died. I wanted you to know my story since, I'll do anything to get you out of this house, alive. That includes death."

"Jungkook!" I felt a tear slid down my cheek. "If this is goodbye, I don't fucking want to hear it. We aren't going to say goodbye, we are going to be fine-"

"I'm just-" he sighed. "Just let me finish my story.. please?"

I nodded my head slowly.

"Love scares me. You scare me. I'm so scared to love anyone after mom and my sister died. I'm just so afraid to touch happiness only for it to be taken away again. I'm so scared of loving you because I know you have the ability to crush me and that is why I pushed you away.

But now that I could actually lose you.. for good, I've never wanted to hold you in my arms so bad. You are everything that I want. You are everything that i need. Its only you, my love."

I felt my eyes start to form tears but, I laughed lightly. "The first time you said that, I had no idea what you were talking about but then I saw it engraved on my ring, like, yesterday."

"See what I mean? You just find a way to make every terrible situation bearable. I know that I have issues and baggage that you probably don't want to deal with but,"

"Jungkook," I said, cutting him off. "If I could only give you one thing in life, I would let you see yourself through my eyes. I would let you see that you are worth loving, see how special you are because Jungkook, I lov-"

"Awe, you guys having a moment?" Jihee asked. "Am I interrupting something? Should I leave?" She let out a dark laugh. She walked over to me examining my face and flicked away one of my tears with her index finger.

"Stop crying, pathetic bitch." she said. "It's time to have some real fun."

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PART | TWENTY FOUR