Hold You Down

Chapter Twenty Two | Regrets

Chapter Twenty Two x Regrets

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This is the number one rule for your set

In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets

On the, rise to the top, many drop, don't forget

In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets - Jay Z

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Money

"Baby, can you go by McDonald's for me, please. I'm starving," Essence begged in my ear like a baby. I sighed as I pulled off from the trap, I was dropping off the weight that we needed to move this month. September is ending quickly and we needed to be ready for October as of right now. It's already been hard enough to move weight and keep our numbers up with these Cuban niggas on our ass. After the death of the head man over on the other side, everybody went crazy. It's been a few days since it all happened and it's been calm, but paranoia is eating me alive.

I've been paranoid every since the day them niggas tried me while I was trying to be with my girl. I wasn't scared of them, I've had it out with lots of crazy niggas, but that still didn't take the paranoia away. I don't want shit to happen to the people I love and that's usually how niggas do things in this world, I'm even guilty of it. Going for people that you love before they do you is the easiest way to get to somebody and that's what I feared the most. If I lost another person close to me, I swear to God some shit going down. My father and brother was enough. If I lose another, shit gone be crucial.

"No," I eventually told her after a while and I heard her sigh through the phone again. I could tell she was getting frustrated, but hell, so was I. Being on them crutches have the both of us going.

"Baby, please."

"Yeah man, damn. What the hell you want?" I asked as I made a complete u-turn in the street and headed towards the nearest McDonald's. I swear this girl got me waiting on her hand and foot since the Cuba trip. I didn't mind helping her out, because I'm part of the reason she's fucked up, but still man. She got a nigga playing nurse and shit like a li'bitch.

"Hmm, get me a big mac meal, with light sauce and onions, large size that please, A ten piece chicken nugget, with barbecue and sweet & sour sauce, 3 chocolate chip cookies, an apple pie, make sure its fresh, and lastly a diet Coke." she said. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked it like it was crazy. The hell she going with all this food. That's a meal for 2.

"Do you hear ya' self ma?" I asked because that was crazy as fuck. She got all that shit and then gone ask for a diet soda. Ain't no diet bih, you then just gain a pound or so from all that shit and then you want to go diet. She wild as fuck. That's about 20 dollars worth of food for her ass only.

"Yes, I hear myself very clearly. I'm hungry babe."

"Stop lyin', I just cooked breakfast for yo' ass less than 2 and a half hours ago Essence. Ain't that much hunger in the world in less than 2 hours."

"So,"

"You pregnant?" I found myself asking the question that I dreaded the most. Her being pregnant would be a bitter sweet moment for me. It's not that I didn't want kids, but in this lifestyle I didn't. My family is already enough target and I don't need a little one to be brought into this shit until I'm out of it. I don't plan to hustle all my life, it's a hustle, not a career. When I do go legit, I will then consider popping juniors, but right now a child is far from my mind. I'm leaving the kids where they at, Money ain't with it.