Hold You Down

Chapter Eleven | Save Yourself First

Chapter Eleven x Save Yourself First

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Light ain't been 'round here in a minute

Darkness been swallowed it up

Chaos been 'round for a minute

Marketed, bottled it up

But wear that fake smile like a cape

Save yourself first - Chance The Rapper
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Essence

I held Money's hand as we stood over his brother's casket at the burial grounds. The ceremony had ended, but we still stood here in the same spot. Everyone else had already started to leave, but a few still lingered around the place talking and reminiscing on the past. I stood beside Money and held his hand tightly as he simply stared down at the all custom gold casket that had been lowered inside of the ground. When he said he wanted his brother to go out in style, he did exactly that. The casket alone costed half a million dollars, but that was nothing to the Johnson family.

I stood firmly dressed in my black Armani dress with a bow tied around at the waist, with black Jimmy Choo pumps and pearls around my neck, wrists, and in my ears. Money was too out of it to find something to wear, so had picked out him a black Armani suit with Gucci loafers and one of Deon's gold chains hung crisply around his neck. A pair of Versace frames covered his eyes as to hide the pain and anger that was coursing through his veins. After all I'd said and done, he still hid his feelings from me.

After a while he pulled me away from the scene and we stood at someone else's grave. He removed the glasses from his eyes and looked down at me. I could tell from how red and low they were, that he'd smoked too numb the pain. I tried convincing him that weed wasn't the answer, but he had his own mind and didn't listen. He's hardheaded and liked to have everything his way. Listening to other people seemed to be something he hated. I sighed as he dug into his pockets and pulled out his black card and handed it over to me.

"Hold this down for me," he said and I looked at him with a confused expression, but took the card into my hands anyway. I stuffed it inside of my Christian Louboutin clutch and looked back up to him, but he wasn't there anymore, he was gone. I looked around the graveyard, but he was no where in sight. I was headed off to search for him, but the devil herself walked up in Gucci frames and a stripper heels. I narrowed my eyes and faced her.

"Hmm, who would have thought the simple little young hoe can play dress up so well." she snickered lightly as she came and stood directly in front of me. She smirked with her black painted lips as she looked at me up and down and shook her head. I rolled my eyes at her presence, she just didn't get it. I was trying so hard to act civilized, but certain females just bring the bad out of you.

"Excuse me, Danielle or whatever else you'd like to call yourself, but I'd like to think of you as irrelevant and petty. This is not the place for you or your drama. Look here, like I stated, you don't know me and I don't know you. Let's keep it that way for your sake. This is not the time for your bull right now, or any other time for that matter. It would be good for you too keep it moving and I will do the same. I don't even know why you're here to begin with." I shot back, getting ready to walk off away from her, but that B word halted my steps. If it wasn't for the God in me, .....

"Bitch, I have every reason and right to be here right now. Money and I was together every since high school. I knew Deon way more than you ever could, so if anything, I don't know why your little ass is here." she retorted and crossed her arms over her chest. The smirk was removed and a full blown frown was present now.