Hold You Down

Chapter Twenty Five | Shattered

Chapter Twenty Five x Shattered

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Watch, it shatters

It keeps shattering

Nothing matters

If it's no trust between these hard walls

And it's all built up on lies and falls

Then it shatters - Sevyn Streeter
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Essence

I've been sitting in this bed since exactly 1:34 this morning allowing the water fall to take it's course down my cheeks. Tears kept falling as I kept replaying the call over and over again in my head and it made me cry even worst each time that I did. Just hearing her voice on his phone caused my heart to hurt so much right now. What was supposed to be a simple call to my man to see where he was, turned into a call that I really wasn't expecting out of all things. I wouldn't have ever thought to get the answer that I did. As soon as I heard that bitch's voice over the phone, I launched it against the wall without even hearing it all. I was hurt, upset, angry, torn, broken, and many more things that could describe how much pain I was going through right now. I couldn't even believe he was cheating on me, with her of all people. Danielle.

It hurt.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rocked my body back and forth as I tried to calm myself down from the heartache. I haven't moved since then, I can't bring myself to leave this spot in the middle of the bed. I've been crying for God knows how long and it isn't helping anything for me. It hasn't changed the fact that the man I loved more than myself, obviously didn't love me back the same. My eyes are swollen and red from all the tears I've cried for that boy and I still feel the same pain. I felt betrayed, stupid, broken, but most of all I felt played, again. I allowed this to happen to me, again.

It hurt a lot.

I've never done anything with anyone else since I've been in this relationship with him and he does me dirty like this, me of all people. Every since we became committed to each other, I've given him my all and only received half in return. While I was giving him all of my love, heart, trust, faith, and commitment, he was only giving me lies, bullshit, and false hope about this relationship. I was torn apart and all I could do was cry in hopes of taking the pain away from my body, but it wasn't working at all. My heart throbbed from so much pain that he was putting me through. After 3 years of me being deeply in love with him, he shows his true colors and goes back to those same ways. I knew I shouldn't have even fed into this, but I couldn't resist it.

It hurt bad.

Along with all of the hurt and pain I felt, anger coursed through me like the red blood in my veins. I was angry not only at Danielle for being apart of the act, but at the one who was putting me through this in the first place. He was the one that I was in the relationship with, not her. I wiped some of the tears only for more of them to fall. I guess I should be glad to know what was going on now, maybe that's why he's been gone so much. He's too busy out fucking around to ever be home with me. I was too stupid to realize it sooner and now I'm the one hurting. I screamed out in anger as hot tears stained my face. I grabbed the lamp that sat on the side of the bed and threw it against the wall and it crashed right to the floor in pieces, right beside my broken cellphone and heart. All of the shit I've done for him and he repays me with fucking heartbreak.