Unlocked Passion

Chapter 14

(This chapter will be about Q so just a reminder...)

Q's Point of View:

"You need help Q. You really do. I love you man. You know I do, but it's sometimes hard to love you..."

"Those words.. they still stick with me for some reason. I never realized I caused this much damage to Spencer. I never realized I caused this much damage to the people around me. But most importantly, I never realized how much damage I caused to myself. I look around my place and I think to myself: Look at where you are right now. You have no job, you're barely paying your bills, your apartment is dirty, there's cigarettes everywhere on the floor, empty bottles are all over the place and there's drugs on your table."

"Listen, Q, I know you probably think that you're alone and helpless, but you don't have to be. Just like Spencer said, you can be something, but you won't let yourself achieve it. So, now it's the perfect time to fucking get yourself together! Fuck! Why am I so fucking stupid?! I shouldn't be like this man. But it's hard not to crush up pills or take a sip of beer. I needed help. I really did. And that is exactly what I need. (sigh) Finally. It was about time I realized that I needed to get my life back in order."

"For the past three months, I've been in a rehab facility and honestly, the first couple of weeks were hell. I wasn't used to the feeling of nurses being around to check up on me every now and then. But as time went on, I really started to get used to it. There was one group meeting that made something click in my head."

I was around seven other people including a nurse named Joanne. She looked at me and asked me a bunch of questions, like we was having our own conversation. "So, Quentin, how have you been doing these past couple of months?" Q sighs before answering. "Honestly, it's been pretty well so far. I mean of course the first few weeks I've been here, has been hell. But once I started to get the hang of things, it's not so bad here." Joanne nods and smiles. "That's really good to hear." Q nods and smiles. Joanne continues. 

"And be honest, do you still think about taking a sip of beer or using any sort of drug?" Q sighs again. "Not that much now but before, yes. Every time I would be upset at a nurse or I have this sort of episode where I'm not in my right mind, I would think of a drink or a cigarette that would help me out. It's hard to resist. It's hard to not think about the things that I thought were a part of me. You know?" Joanne nods. 

"Yes. I get it. But that's the part of the process. You will have thoughts of a beer, or a drug, or a cigarette. You will have the urge to do something like that again. But this is a one-day-at-a-time thing. It will get better as time goes on. It's really good that you're being honest. It means you're making progress Quentin." Q smiles and nods, happy to hear that. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Um.. one more question?" Q nods, willing to listen. "What is your goal in life?" Q looked down as he was surprised to hear this type of question again. He thought about the conversation him and Spencer had the night everything went downhill. Q looked back up at Joanne, taking a deep breath. "To become a businessman." Joanne nods. "Yeah, I wanted to have my own food business so that I would be to show off my cooking skills." 

"That's really good. I hope your business goes really well." Q looks down again, showing doubt. "I don't know if it will." 

"Hey, don't have doubt. You won't know how your business will go unless you try. Work hard. And stay positive. You are worthy of something. You are capable of achieving something in your life. Go out there and do it!" 

Q smiles at Joanne's advice. He felt happy that someone gave him courage for his life. Now that he has encouragement, he is ready to get himself back on track and he is ready to face the world, clean.