✔︎ SLOWLY • jake

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i finally stepped foot on a place i have always known,

a place i'm too familiar with.

outside, was just the usual sight.

white simplistic exterior design decorated with a wooden touch.

home is still as i remember it.

....or at least i thought so.

as jake and i both got inside,

only then did i realize how much my death has affected jake.

there were unfinished bottles of soju at the counter,

the refrigerator is empty,

and the tv has been left open.

A frown came to my face as i followed jake who tiredly dragged his feet towards our bedroom.

my things were left untouched,

but contrary to the living room,

our shared bedroom seems freshly cleaned.

jake laid tiredly in the middle of our bed, and so did i.

gosh, did i realise how much i missed cuddling up to him.

i'd always read a book or just lay my head over his chest,

letting myself hear the rhythm of his heart and his breathing.

i would be trapped around his strong arms as he peppered my forehead with kisses.

he'd tickle me,

laugh with me,

and show his affection to me.

jake was always soft,

always so chaste and careful—

as if i was a fragile vase held in his hands.

jake's eyes would sparkle like the stars,

and his smile would brighten up my day like the sun.

he'd always be like a puppy, full of energy and happiness.

to put it simply, he was an angel in disguise..

but now,

everything's gone.

his eyes were dull,

his lips were no longer curved up into a smile,

and he was motionless.

I wish i could remove that frown in his face.

i scooted closer to him and caressed his cheeks.

now that i have gotten this close to him,

i also noticed that his cheeks were no longer 'pinch-able'.

he's a lot skinnier than before.

i remembered the uneaten takeout food at the table just earlier.

jake, when was the last time you ate a proper homemade meal?

a sigh escaped my lips.

i never knew he'd be this affected.

but hey,

i also remembered the times that i'd kiss him softly in the lips to ease his pain—

to get his mind off the hard day he'd gone through.

out of all that things we do,

it was my lips that he'd get addicted to.

i know you could no longer feel me.

but jake,

i just badly need to do something in order to ease your suffering.

i slowly closed the distance between us.

yet before i could even lean in for a kiss,

the doorbell rang.