This Love: Spencer Reid

i would do whatever you wanted

the both of us dropped our bags to the floor in unison, sighing with heavily weighted relief. the rest of the day had been unsuccessful, mostly spent arguing with police officers about things that should have been common sense. mal was in hiding as of now and there wasn't anything we could do to find him that night.

on the bright side hotch had managed to get extremely nice hotels for the team (totally not blackmail) and i felt as if i was taking my first actual breath of the day.

it had felt almost irresponsible how fast my anxieties were slipping away, but the king sized bed and the stunning new york city view lighting up our room from our floor to ceiling window seemed to silence them briefly.

"too tired to take a shower." you sighed, falling onto the bed dramatically.

"spence! you're going to get the bed dirty." i said with a lighthearted laugh, taking off my converse and setting them by the door.

you turned onto your back and motioned lazily for me to join you with a goofy grin and pleading eyes.

with a running start, i flung myself onto you theatrically and the two of us burst into teary eyed laughter.

"scoot."

you rolled away with little effort, leaving only a small space for me. i frowned, pretending to be upset.

"i'm going to change into pajamas, one second." i said, skipping playfully to the bathroom, soaking up the happy sounds of your laugh behind me.

when i stepped out of the bathroom in an oversized tee, you were perched on the bed wearing a sweatshirt with a book in your hand. it was amusing seeing how fast you read.

you patted the spot next you and i happily joined.

"read to me, please." i said with a smile.

you turned to me. "oh, why?"

you made that face that you always made when you doubted yourself. your pretty brown eyes squinted and your top lip pulled itself under your bottom one.

i remember how much i hated that anyone would ever made you feel that way.
especially intentionally.
it was so often they told you to be quiet,
stop talking,
filter more,
say less.

but your voice when you were excited was my favorite sound in the entire world,
i never understood how people didn't see that.
didn't see you.

"i just mean, since i read kinda abnormally fast. wouldn't it be annoying for me to read to you?" your eyes scanned my face, so afraid of potentially disappointing me.

"spence. if i thought it was annoying i wouldn't have asked. and anyway nothing you could ever do would annoy me, especially not reading." i choose my words carefully, trying my best to avoid sounding cheesy or to hurt your feelings while also trying to sound like i wasn't trying to not hurt your feelings.

that was another thing i hated.
the way everyone sugar coated when they were around you, as if you were a little boy.

i never wanted to make you feel small.
although sometimes i felt myself slipping up, opening the door for you, giving you looks of pity like a young boy that had lost his dog. i never did master the skill of giving you your deserved space the same way gideon had, and i felt so guilty about it.

you gave me one of your ghostly and vaguely apologetic half smiles, rubbing your wrist slowly. i moved closer to you, leaning my head against yours and enjoying the way your fluffy brown curls cushioned me, the comoforting warmth of your body covering me.