This Love: Spencer Reid

five

its almost like i didn't have time to mourn your death.

you were gone so quickly, all that was left of you was the parts that i carried.

memories.

you had always been the one with the memory, and everyone knows that. it seems like a taunt that i should be the one left to dig through our memories.

but that's what i did. i looked through every case you had worked since you joined the B.A.U, hoping to find some kind of evidence. it wasn't looking good. unfortunately, you had accumulated a lot of one sided enemies during your time here, and worse so was that most of them were serial killers.

but you? you didn't have an enemy, someone YOU really hated. a lot of people hated you, but "hate" was hardly a word in your vocabulary.

or,

you did have an enemy,

but it was wasn't a person.
it wasn't a mass murderer and it wasn't pedophile that you had the pleasure of shoving behind cold metal bars.

it was your mind. it was the dark void inside it that you would try to deny. the bullet in your brain effectively froze it, but why?

why kill you?

why kill dr spencer reid from the behavioral analysis unit in the federal bureau of investigation? why kill a 24 year old that had spent his life worrying about his grades and his mom?

if you were here you would shake your head and say i was being selfish. but i didn't mean it like that. what i meant was, what made you so special to these people that you locked away? most people would forget about you, and most people definitely wouldn't seek you out and kill you.

maybe it was a power thing. killing you, a young man who had lived a largely successful life. an unfinished life.

and then it hit me. that sounds cheesy, i know. but that was when i had my moment of realization.

what about the unfished cases? the cold cases that were thrown aside, the neglected killers that we never caught.

i felt my body freeze up.

i knew exactly who it was.