Song of the chapter: September by Earth, Wind & fire (lmao I'm sorry I had to- here's the actual song (or you can listen to both)): soldier, poet, king by Jacob Cook (they literally sound like Wilbur tho)
⚠️tw/cw: questioning gender, slight mention of cutting, short mention of dying, mention of scars, someone overhearing something, possibly second hand embarrassment?, crying, throwing up⚠️
September 8th
Ranboo's POV
'Genderman' I thought to myself
A lot of my viewers question their gender after finding my channel, so why am I now?
I don't feel like a boy fully, and I don't feel like a girl either. Maybe I'm nonbinary? He/him pronouns just sound normal to me and no one's ever really used they/them for me before. I could ask people to use they/them for me but then I'd have to explain that I don't know my gender. I know that they'd all be supportive but still, it's scary.
I pulled out my phone and clicked on Ender's contact
Ranboo: hey I have a question..
I debated sending the message for about 3 minutes before pressing the send button, anxiously waiting for their response
Ender: okay what's up? Are you okay?
Ranboo: yeah I'm fine I'm just curious.. how did you figure out that you're nonbinary?
Ender: oh well that was years ago but basically I'd never really felt like a boy and I thought I might be trans but it didn't really feel right either. I just looked up on google and was like 'huh I like nonbinary'. Why do you ask?
Ranboo: oh no reason, just curious
Ender: okay
Ender: text me once you've figured out your gender
I stared at my phone in shock. How did they know!?
Ender: jkjk
Ender: unless...👀👀
Ranboo: 🙄
They're lucky. They just figured it out.
I opened a new tab on google and typed in 'how to figure out your gender'
✨a couple of hours later✨
I had been doing research basically all day and had sort of come to a conclusion throughout the many quizzes I took and pronoun tryout things. I liked demiboy, nonbinary, and genderfluid and felt like those might be me but I still had to figure out which one I liked most.
For pronouns, I liked he/him and they/them so maybe he/they pronouns? Those could just be for right now if I'm genderfluid
Ugh why is gender so confusing!
September 9th
They/them
September 10th
They/he
September 11th
He/him
September 12th
He/it
September 13th
They/it
September 14th
They/he/it are probably my pronouns
I'd been thinking of my pronouns every day and I liked they/he/it
I determined that I'm not genderfluid so maybe demiboy or nonbinary?
YOU ARE READING
Lost thoughts || Ranboo angst
Fanfiction"One more year. One more year is all I can take. By this time next year, I'll be gone"he said, looking at his reflection in the mirror I'm bad at writing descriptions so this is what you get but I promise the book is better lol also there is fluff i...
