Starving for the sun

Scarlet

One day.

Bella takes a deep breath before letting it out slow, she can do this.

It's just one day.

The tightness in her chest is suffocating, her throat hurts constantly and it's getting harder to find excuses, to keep others from questioning. All she wants to do is go back to sleep, but she can't. Not today.

Edward had insisted that she come to the house and hang out with everyone, said that she owed it to him because she's been acting strange lately, distant, and that the others miss her.

She doesn't want to. She had planned on staying as far away from everyone as she could.

Until she was ready.

But he leaves no room for argument and she doesn't want him to become more suspicious than he already was. She can't let him find out what's going on, not yet.

So she has to go. And she prays that flowers full of greed can be selfless for just one day.

That's all she needs, just a day.

For things to seem like they were before, an illusion that hides the truth.

Bella grabs her keys, a jacket and walks out the door.

The ride is long and quiet, the radio only playing static till she turns it off as she drives down the long road to where the Cullen's live. The trees are tall and looming, the sky a shade of grey and she feels like she's the only person in the world at this moment.

No impending death, no vampires and werewolves, no fairy tale stories or bedtime scares. No high school and friends who aren't friends, no flowers that demand to see the sun hiding behind the clouds.

It’s just her, alone in the world, driving on a strip of eternal road.

Until she sees it, that beautiful house that seems so out of place but also exactly where it belongs, the house that was built by a vampire.

The Cullen's home.

Her truck comes to a stop in the empty driveway and she kills the engine. She puts her keys in her back pocket and slams the door shut before making her way up the steps to the front door.

She pauses for just a moment, just to ready herself for a day of being around a house full of vampires before she knocks.

A few seconds go by before the door opens with a soft click and when she sees who's on the other side it feels like she’s plummeted head first into the deepest part of the ocean just to see if she can touch the bottom.

“Hi Rose.”

She gives the blonde a small smile and shoves her hands in her pockets. Her feet are rooted in place and it's a moment too late when she realises her mistake. But Rosalie is giving her a soft smile that lets her know that it doesn't matter, like she’s just glad she’s here. “Well look who finally decided to show up.”

There is a small hint of teasing in her words and Bella smirks at the blonde and decides to play along. “Lost the invitation.” She adds with a shrug of her shoulders and Rosalie raises an eyebrow at her. “Should have sent you two then. What with you always losing things.” She opens the door wider for Bella to come inside, her amber eyes watching her.

“You know me. I get distracted easily.” Bella shrugs as she takes slow steps until she’s inside, her lungs ache from the cold air. She doesn't hear the blonde reply as she looks around, marveling at the design and layout, it’s always breathtaking when she sees it, their home.

She rolls her neck to fight the urge to clear her throat, she feels exhausted, and her ribs feel tight. Her lungs make it seem like breathing is too difficult a task.

In and out, and repeat. It’s not that hard to remember but when her lungs beg for a break she can't help but comply.

In and out, in and pause. For only a few seconds because that’s all she can spare. For just a few seconds she finds that the pain dulls a bit when she stops, when she lives without breathing.

“Edward is out hunting, he should be back soon.” Rosalie’s words bring her from her thoughts as the air rushed back into her lungs. She tugs on the zipper of her jacket until it’s zipped all the way up, it helps her feel a little more steady and she does her best not to fiddle with the small piece of metal.

“And the others?” She doesn't want to think about Edward, doesn't want to talk about him. She doesn't care if he's here or not.

"Carlisle is at work, Esme is out shopping. Emmett left a few days ago to visit an old friend, and the two love birds are out doing god knows what." The blonde says like she's rehearsed it, without a care.

"So let me guess," She turns to Rosalie who's watching her and it takes a second or two for Bella to remember what she was going to say because the blonde is wearing overalls, a white t-shirt and sneakers. There's a smear along her forearm and a few smudges on her shirt, her hair is in a messy bun and how did she not notice before?

"I'm stuck with you till he comes back?" She finally managed to make the words come out, and commends herself for not stuttering.

"Would you rather go hide in his room till he gets back?" She asks with a raised eyebrow and Bella doesn't have to think to know that Rosalie would have expected her to do just that.

Because that is what she would have done, before.

“What are you working on?” She asks the blonde who gives her a soft smile that makes her wish that everything wasn't coming to an end.

“Doing a tune up on one of the cars. Care to join me?” Rosalie asks and Bella finds that she doesn't care that the chance of everything falling apart depends on her answer.

Because it's Rosalie who's asking, and she’d gladly stay at the bottom of the ocean, as long as it means being able to see her.