Starving for the sun

Ruby

Peace, that's what she feels right now. Overshadowing the pain and the guilt and the acceptance that things might not get better for her.

Rosalie is glaring at the checkers board like it offended her and she can't help but smile at the blonde when she's not looking.

She sucks at checkers, Rosalie does not.

But she's not going to point out that it's a possibility that she's letting Bella win because that would ruin all the fun.

"Do you need some help?" She can't help but tease the vampire just a little and when Rosalie looks up and glares at her rather than the game board between them she doesn't hide her smile "I mean, you're just taking forever," She shrugs like it's obvious because it's been exactly one minute since she did her turn.

"No." Rosalie's response is sharp and quick and she goes back to glaring at the red pieces of the game before making her move.

"See? No help at all." Rosalie smiles as she moves a strand of hair behind her ear and looks at Bella with a small smirk, they both know she's losing and both ignore that fact.

She looks at the board, it's red and black squares, some empty while others hold game pieces. "Nice" She nods at the choice and thinks about whether she can take that piece or not without losing any of her pieces.

"Don't take forever" She hears the slight tease in the blonde's words and she shakes her head with a smile.

They've played two rounds already and Rosalie won both times with ease, partially because Bella can never remember how to play and also because she couldn't take her eyes off the blonde.

She was staring, she still is because it's Rosalie's turn again and maybe she's giving away too much, being too obvious.

But when she smiles like that, like all that matters is just this moment they share, she can't help but look.

You're beautiful , she wants to say.

But the words stay locked away like the flowers that make every breath hurt. She can admit it to herself but she can't admit what might happen if she said those words aloud.

"You're very bad at this" She blinks away her thoughts to notice Rosalie is watching her curiously and the sight before her makes her chest ache but she ignores it because she is beautiful and she could spend the rest of the day just staring into molten gold.

She gives the blonde an innocent smile. "I never said I was any good," Sure it was her who chose the game, and her who convinced Rosalie to take a break from working on Emmett's jeep, but she specifically said that she was terrible at checkers.

"You also didn't elaborate on how bad you were." Rosalie points out and Bella glances down at the board and shrugs.

It's obvious that Rosalie isn't trying to win but it's also obvious that Bella is barely winning and she actually is trying. "I can't give away my skills," she shrugs with a smile. "because then you would know my secrets."

"How many secrets do you have, Bella?"

"Many" A short and simple answer, one she thought would not urge more questions.

“Would you share one with me?”  She doesn't look up as she moves her piece to take one of the Rose's.

She ignores how many secrets come to mind with her question, how many she keeps from everyone around her. She ignores the throbbing of her ribs, how restricted her breathing feels because of her secret.

Bella clears her throat when she feels the light tickling from petals that are losing their patience. She ignores how the words almost escape when she draws a breath, ignores the maybes that keep running through her head.

Maybe she could tell her, maybe she would understand. Maybe if the truth was revealed then this could all go away and she could finally continue her life.

But maybe not, things could go the opposite way. Everything could crumble like ash, her lungs could finally give in under the weight of her feelings.

"You first."

She hears a soft chuckle from the blonde but she refuses to look up just yet, she doesn't want to let her see what she's feeling. Not yet.

"What kind of secret would you like to know?" Bella doesn't expect her to say that, not Rosalie Hale willing to share a secret with her.

She hums in thought as she sees the vampire across from her moving one of her pieces while not taking her eyes from Bella, she's not even trying at this point. Both are more drawn into the conversation than the game.

"Simple," The easiest there is, she thinks. "Nothing life changing or big enough to carry any weight."

“Simple,” Rosalie repeats and Bella nods even though she isn't looking at her at the moment, rather the game board with more red pieces then black.

There is a moment of silence as Rosalie thinks and Bella does her best to concentrate on the game and not the blonde who looks like she's lost in her thoughts. But she keeps getting drawn in, keeps glancing at her as she sits there in thought.

“Well I-”

“Bella,”

She feels a chill run up her spine and she stops breathing, he’s back and placing himself in their moment like he owns it.

She can see Rosalie withdrawing from her, back into the facade of the ice queen that she carries around like a crown at school. She’s still as stone, beautiful as the statues of the gods, but she feels so far away now and Bella fights the urge to cry because of course he had to ruin it.

“I’m glad you came,” She feels him move closer even though there is no sound to his steps. “I’m sorry I was away but I’m back and now we can spend time together.” She feels him place his hand on her shoulder and she does her best to ignore the chill it sends through her that has the baby hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

She doesn't turn to give him a smile, does not relax in his touch like he thought she would. Bella is looking at Rosalie, Rosalie who is giving him such a glare that if the old tales were true he would be dust in less than a second.

“You can’t just come in here like you own this place.” There’s a bite in Rosalie’s words and Bella doesn't like how stiff Edward is beside her, “We’re in the middle of a game, go wait your turn.” The blonde vampire motions for him to leave but Edward being Edward had to butt in and add his two cents.

“Looks like the game is done from what I can see, there’s no way you can win.” He sounds smug, like he’s proud of Bella winning the game even though she still hasn't.

“We’re not done yet,” She’s surprised by her words, surprised that the ache in her chest lessened just a fraction as she spoke. Both immortals look at her, both in surprise. “Bella-” she turns to interrupt him because he looks like he’s about to scold a toddler and she’s no toddler.

“No. You don't get to drag me here claiming that everyone missed me and that I owe you this just to barge in and demand I spend the time only with you.”

He looks surprised by her, surprised that she would speak against him. “Bella-”

He’s interrupted again, this time by Rosalie who growls a warning that promises pain “Let her speak.”

She feels a slight pressure in his hold before he lets her go. “You don’t get to barge in and interrupt us like you’re entitled to me, you don't get to tell me when I have to go with you because you don't like sharing. Today is about spending time with everyone, not just you.”

“Now leave.” Rosalie all but growls the words at him and Edwards doesn't speak, he just shakes his head in a manner that tells Bella that he thinks she doesn't understand before leaving the room.