Starving for the sun

Garnet

Flowers are beautiful, but flowers are deadly as well.

Her room is as dark as the sky at midnight when she wakes from a dream that she can't remember. Her chest burns and her head throbs as she takes in the absence of light around her.

The blankets are tangled around her as if they intend to never let her go, her pillows are scattered and astray and the fan facing the bed is off. For a long while, as her body burns from the heat, she just lays there shrouded in darkness that will meet her at the end.

Her mind is quiet as she waits for the sun to rise, for her alarm to blare her awake as if it never knew she was up before the dawn.

She waits to hear when Charlie rises and gets ready for the day, the sound of his heavy footsteps as he makes his way downstairs to make himself a pot of coffee before doing anything else. She waits until she has the strength to untangle herself and stumble her way to the bathroom to take a shower.

She waits, cause that's all she's doing now, waiting.

For the everlasting darkness that promises no pain or for the courage to crawl up from the depths of her heart and finally give her enough strength to say what she can't seem to say, she doesn't know but she waits.

Water runs cold over her skin as she stands in the shower, wet soaked strands of hair twisting down her back and shoulders, her neck and collarbone. The sound drowning out her heart, her breath that comes short, the rattling in her chest that promises nothing good.

When her skin is no longer feverish, when her hair is washed twice for good measure, when she smells like pomegranates and her throat no longer burns from the petals that gather at the drain, she turns the water off and steps out of the shower.

It feels like an entire day has gone by and yet she knows that's not true. She still has to face the day just as much as before.

Bella dresses quickly, pulling a clean t-shirt over her head and sweatpants up her damp legs, runs a brush through her hair until her dark strands run straight against her back. She rinses her mouth out to get rid of the taste of her own blood after cleaning up.

A half empty bottle of water sits on her nightstand when she walks into her room again, a small pill bottle sits next to it.

She remembers when the pain became so immense that she had no choice but to numb it, she didn't want to at first but sometimes she just couldn't breathe.

Her phone sits on her dresser dead because she didn't think to charge it last night, not caring to do it now.

She finishes the water and screws the cap back on the pill bottle before leaving the room and heading downstairs to see Charlie before he leaves for the day.

The kitchen smells of coffee and toast when she enters, a newspaper sits on the table and an empty plate with bread crumbs sits next to it. Charlie is leaning against the counter with a mug in his hands, eyes looking out towards the forest past the window curtains that are drawn back.

He looks ready for the day. With his badge on his belt, his gun sitting on the table next to the chair where his jacket is hung over, even both his boots are tied.

"You made toast?" She questions as she pulls a chair back and sits down. "And I didn't burn the house down." He adds with a proud smile when he gives her his full attention. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

"A little." She answers with a shrug as she glances down at the newspaper. "Are you going to be working late?" She questions when she reads the headline, bear attacks aren't very common in this neck of the woods and she knows that protecting the town is a big responsibility. "Yeah," He nods as he looks down at his drink before setting it down.