Before Fozzie had quite finished finding his notes and Scooter had quite finished restoring Kermit’s desk to order, Rowlf came running up, as worked up as they had ever seen him, which made him still calmer than many Muppets on their best days.
“We have a situation here, fellas. Animal slipped his chain and ran off. Mayhem’s on in ten and they just lost their rhythm.”
Scooter assessed the situation in a split second. “Not good,” he said.
Fozzie concurred with that assessment. “Oh, boy.”
“Yeah. Listen, Floyd’s off to fetch another chain and the rest of the band is trying to figure out where he ran off. Can one of you spare a minute to help me out with this?”
Fozzie and Scooter turned to each other.
“Um… do you wanna-“
“Well, someone needs to get… but if you’d rather-“
“No, no, that’s really your department.”
“I don’t want to force you to-
“Uh, gentlemen, finding their drummer before the band goes on would be good.”
“Sorry,” they apologized in unison. An exchange of nods and the matter was settled.
Fozzie glanced mournfully at his cards before setting them down and trailing after Rowlf. “So they have no idea where he is?”
“Nope, which is kind of odd when you think about it. Animal’s hard to miss.”
The bear stopped abruptly. “That’s right! He is. He ishard to miss, especially if…”
Rowlf waited for a moment as Fozzie stood, lost in thought. “Especially if?” He prompted.
“Ha! I got it!” Fozzie slapped his thigh in elation. “Especially if you are a miss!”
“Is- Is that a joke?” The dog asked, wondering if he ought to laugh.
“No-“ Fozzie reconsidered, “Wait, was it funny?”
Rowlf pondered his response, finally settling on honesty. “No.”
“Then it wasn’t a joke. Look, Animal loves to chase the girls around so-“
“Oh, hey, that is an idea.” The pianist caught on to Fozzie’s train of thought. “We’ll go round up a few women of the female variety and lure him out of his hidey hole. Great idea, Fozzie!”
“Oh, uh, right. That was my plan. Yes.” Hastily the aspiring comic pulled the blonde wig off of his head and smiled uneasily at Rowlf, who took it as he took everything: in stride.
“Hmm. I guess we don’t have to bother the girls… but their feminine wiles are a lot more wily… and feminine. I dunno, which plan do you prefer?”
Fozzie let out a beleaguered sigh. “Oh, let’s just go find some girls.”
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Scooter, in the meantime, was faced with a crisis of his own.
“What do you mean you’re not going to do the act you rehearsed? It was dynami- oops.“ The gofer slapped his hands over his mouth and waited for the inevitable.
Nothing happened.
“Is Harry sick or something?” Scooter remained in duck and cover position, just in case the resident maniac, well, one of ‘em, was running late.
Gonzo watched him in solemn impatience. “No, he’s not sick. Straighten up, will you?”
“Did- did somebody kill him?” He asked cautiously, unsettled by Gonzo’s expression.
