Kermit stood for a minute, holding the phone, listening to it buzz musically in what passed as his ear.
Piggy had hung up on him.
Long years of… er, association with the porcine diva had taught Kermit never to assume he understood what she had done, what she was doing, or what she was going to do next… but still!
He hadn’t really expected that…
…and he didn’t understand it.
The annoyance of it faded very quickly as he compared his years of experience of her demeanor with her demeanor during the few minutes of their phone call. Uneasy thoughts began spinning wildly in his head. Piggy hadn’t sounded like herself. At first, Kermit suspected she was merely angry about their earlier fight, which would have explained her being stand-offish and not wanting to talk to him the other day, but that theory didn’t hold water. Piggy had been nervous, not angry, and then she’d hung up on him.
Miss Piggy had actually hung up on him!
Another wave of astonishment hit him and faded down through irritation to anxiety. No, Kermit couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong back home.
And he was thousands of miles away from being able to help… or even to be able to just to go through it with them. His gentle heart sunk somewhere down near the vicinity of his flippers.
“No,” he declared firmly to the empty room, “This is important, and I’m not going to let her keep me out of this.”
Resolute, Kermit picked up the phone again, and steeled himself for some serious Piggy prying. A sudden thought gave him pause. He’d told them he trusted them to handle anything, Fozzie and Rowlf and Scooter, and if he just barged back in and tried to do a little long distance crisis management, he’d really be telling them that he didn’t actually trust them. Rowlf and Scooter might understand, but Fozzie was a nut of a different sort, and might take it personally.
Kermit did trust them after all.
All three of them had good hearts and good minds and, most importantly, they were together. The only one who was facing anything alone right now was him.
Kermit sighed… it was much better to face things together, and he wanted desperately to know what had Piggy so flustered.
Maybe it wasn’t anything serious. Maybe he was overreacting, trying a little too hard to read Piggy’s mind. Normally, he was sensible enough not to try.
Then again, Piggy rarely got flustered, unless she was out to fluster someone else, and Kermit knew well enough who her favorite target was.
Kermit sighed, wavering back and forth between two choices, his hand once again resting on the phone and his only physical connection with his family. “What to do, what to do…” Before he’d settled entirely on a course of action, or inaction, the hotel room clock sounded, surprising him.
“Oh!” Kermit moved quickly and shut it off. He had set it earlier with the help of a hotel employee to remind him of about when the show ended with the time difference. “Whoops, must have mixed up the time diff-”
Kermit’s mouth fell open as a lightning bolt of understanding started synapses sparking and flashing in his head.
That’s why it was so quiet.
Piggy was alone in the boarding house; alone, because everyone else was out at the theatre, where she herself should have been. The vague and nameless worry plaguing Kermit sharpened rapidly and skittered viciously along his nerves as uncertainty gave way to absolute clarity.
There was something wrong, something wrong with Piggy, and it was wrong enough to keep her off the stage. Kermit firmly swallowed back a wave of genuine fright. He also let go of the phone.
“Alright Piggy.” He whispered into the soullessly cheerful hotel room. “I’ll let you handle it your way, for now.” If she wanted to keep whatever was going on away from him right now, that was her prerogative... but he would be back home soon enough, and Kermit knew that real secrets were in short supply in their little family.
He decided he would not call back again that night. That decision made, Kermit prepared himself for bed, pausing only briefly to make a quick note for himself.
Tomorrow, he was going to do everything in his power to watch the show that he had missed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
“What do you want?” the living symbol of American values demanded moodily as Gonzo tracked after him out of the theatre.
“Oh, c’mon Sam, just give me a chance here! I know that didn’t go very well, but it wasn’t my fault.” Gonzo considered Sam’s severe expression and reconsidered his approach. “That was my very first try at being completely dull on stage! You’ve had years of experience!”
Sam glared at him and walked a bit faster. The eagle preferred to walk home rather than hitch a ride with the gadabouts and weirdoes that swarmed the theatre and the boarding house. Gonzo was not about to let him escape this night.
“Please, Sam. I think… I think you’re right about all this safety-”
“-And dignity. Safety, and dignity. That’s the American way,” he said with no little bit of pride.
Gonzo let out a little whoop when he realized that he was getting through. Sam frowned at him again… well, in fact, the eagle had not stopped frowning since he had first approached him well before the show. Still, somehow Sam managed to emphasize his frown, making it particularly frowny.
The reformed, or rather, reforming daredevil stood up a little straighter and tried to look like a good American citizen. “Sorry. I love the American way, really! Those speeches you do are really-“
Now he really had Sam’s attention. “Inspirational?”
“Well, no…”
“Noble?”
“Not exactly…”
“Patriotic?” he asked, putting a particular lilt on the word.
“Hysterical!” Gonzo finished triumphantly.
If it were only possible, Sam’s face would have become even frownier. “I do not believe this.” He said quietly to himself, though it was easily loud enough for Gonzo to hear.
“Oh. Sam, I meant that as a compliment!”
“You would,” the eagle snapped contemptuously, before ducking into a payphone and firmly shutting the door.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Gonzo called, tapping the Plexiglas.
“I am calling a cab, you degenerate.” Sam informed him stiffly.
“Why would you call a cab “you degenerate?” the little blue fellow wondered, but the eagle had turned a rigid back to him. “But I need your help to make the Muppet Show safer! And have you seen where we live?”
Gonzo let out a melancholy little sigh. “I just wanted to undo some of the harm I caused.” Giving up on his hopes of recruiting a partner, he turned away to make his way back the boarding house.
