SAUDADE // I loved you

-𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 3- ✔

- 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ✔-

: Chapter 3 : Perspective ~ Her :

I moved to Vernara, which became my comfort home. Me caring about anything except myself was so last year. But now, it was no feelings, no emotions, no thought. It was just me against the world. I could put in my headphones and I would ignore everything, and everyone. It was a perfect symphony. I was the conductor, orchestrating the perfect piece. The final piece. The last thing to finish my insane period. But then, one day, I met him. Again.

He was standing there. In the light. Everything was perfect. Except one thing. Her. As if starlight and winter snow had swirled together in some lucid dream, her perfect blonde hair was every hue from buttermilk to brown. But that was fine. What was wrong was his arm slung across her neck. Her small, very tiny neck. Like a chicken. Easy to pull off, or cut. But what was worse, was when he kissed her. A small, but etching kiss that was enough to prove. Everything was meaningless. It was that easy. In the night, I did what I had to do. Her delicate face and eyes, closed and sound asleep. And then I did it. The shining knife, reflecting my face, went in. Straight into her stomach. There was a scream. But silencing it was easy. A finger onto her lips and she dropped. Like a puppet without a string. Then it ended. I pulled it out, and the glistening red substance dripped down the bed. Beautiful. A masterpiece.

So now I ask myself. He didn't go missing did he? He just ran away. From me. And that was enough news. He had to go. He had to disappear cause I had enough of him. Completely. I'd completely ignore him now. I have nothing to do with him and nothing to want from him. I had finished my heartache and I wasn't interested in more. He needed to disappear and that was it. That's when I started. My little orchestrated piece led up to this moment. It was time. I had to destroy everything he loved. His little girlfriend had already disappeared so what was next? I had to do something. My hands were itching to dig deep again, to sink it straight in, to hear the same blood-curdling scream and to feel satisfied and happy with myself. Just one more time. But this time, it won't be because of heartache and stress. It'll be for my own human satisfaction. Just something to do, for me.