Not Enough

Come Over

It's been 3 months since Kaoru and I last talked. I was sitting in my room listening to music and my phone started ringing. I answered without checking. " hello ?" I answer " kojiro.." it's Kaoru. " I'm hanging up" I say harshly. " no.. wait I need you"Kaoru say trying to hide his cries. " please could you come over?" It hurt. I hate seeing or hearing him cry. Even now I'd do anything to make it stop. " on my way." I say then I hang up.

(At Kaoru's house)

When I arrived the door was unlocked. I walked in. "Kaoru I'm here .. why were you crying?" I didn't get no response all I heard was footsteps running towards me. Before I could process anything he jumped on me and well fell to the ground. " shit that hurt" I say while being crushed by Kaoru. I feel teardrops hit my face. He was gripping on to my like I was all he had, like he didn't want to let go. It felt nice. I missed this. I thumped away his tears. " why are you crying?" I asked with concern. " he left me.. Adam left me" Kaoru cried. Oh. Right. So if he didn't I wouldn't be here right now. Makes sense. I'm still a second option. " you don't get it do you?" I say while pushing him off of me to stand up. He looked at me confused. I went in my bag and took out 20 dollars. " buy yourself ice cream and don't stay up crying you will get puffy eyes... later." I say then I dip out. The walk home I was convincing myself I didn't care but my body thought otherwise. Tears fell from my eyes. I thought he needed me. Truth is I'm just Adams replacement. I was getting better, forgetting him.

When I arrived home I jumped in my bed. My hoodie. It had Kaoru's scent all over... I took it off. I hopped in bed and fell asleep. Around 3 am I woke up because it was cold and I noticed my window open. I rubbed my eyes and nope I wasn't seeing things it was open. I was getting ready to go close it when I felt arms around my waist. I turned to look it was Kaoru . I pushed him off of me and closed my window. I turned on my room light. He woke up when I turned it on. " what the fuck " I say. He runs his eyes. " I was lonely.. you left me" he said. " that doesn't mean sneak in my room" I yell. " I'm sick of this shit.. I'm always left to pick up the pieces. You just hurt me over and over and I just take it." I scream in anger. Kaoru looks at me tears brimming his eyes. " no , don't cry I should be the one crying. You were my everything, I put you first always.. not 2nd or 3rd. You were my number 1 but Adam comes along and just snatched you. I had to watch the person I love, love someone else. And now you only need me because he's not here" I yell. The tears in his eyes fall and he begins to sob. He looks around my room and he noticed the pictures of us on my wall were gone. He got up and touched the empty space and sobbed harder. I hated that I still cared for him. I opened my arms, and he ran into them. He cried while I held him. Like I always do. Always here when he needed me. What happens when I need him? I let him go to turn off the light and I lied down, he did the same cuddling next to me.

The next morning I woke up and he was still sleeping. He was crying in his sleep. I wiped his tears and got up to use the bathroom. In 5 minutes I heard loud noises and stumbling and Kaoru opened the bathroom door with tears in his eyes. " oh there you are" he says wiping his tears. " yea I'm always here" I say he comes and leans on me while I brush my teeth. " I'm really sorry kojiro." He says. " don't worry about it." I say.