Losing Hope.

4

wordcount :1155
TW : <3
CW : flashbacks (mention of child pornography, bruises and degrading)

SAPNAP'S POV
I sat with my legs crossed, Karl tapped my knee, I look up at him the rest of the boys on the bed talking. He sat against the bed in front of me, he smiled.
"Feeling better than yesterday?" I nod.
I look at the door when I hear footsteps, a cat?
A cat?! I smile and Karl stands, he walks towards the green eyed cat with open arms to lift them up. He sits in front of me again, he puts them down in-front of me,
"this is Dream's cat, Patches," my eyes narrow.
Dream? Whose Dream?
"Sorry, Clay, we call him Dream, and we call Alex; Quackity or Q. You can call them whatever but so you're not confused, I guess,"
The cat crawls towards me, scratching softly at my knee, I start to stroke their head, they jump in between my legs and lay down, stomach up, stretching their arms.
"She likes you, she wants you to rub her belly," I look up a little worried,
"she's nice, I promise," he says, I rub her stomach slowly, her eyes shut, she looks pleased and comfortable.
I look up at Karl with a smile,
"I think she likes you more than Dream," he whispered, my smile goes bigger.
"Have you played Minecraft before?" he asked, I shake my head, I recognise the name but I have no idea, I shake my head.
"Dream? Can we use your Xbox? Please," he dragged on the please,  I smile as Patches turns over and cuddles up to my thigh.

"X! X!" all the boys shout, I tap X on the controller a few times, I killed the zombie. The boys cheer,
"YES! YES!" Quackity shouted, I pause the game and look back at them. I smile a bit,
"good job," Karl said. Nobody had praised me in literal years, nothing that sat well atleast.

Good job, such a good slut for us. All perfect for us aren't you. I like when you're quiet.
All for me, all for these men and women who want to use you like the sex toy you are, isn't that ri—

"Nick?" I shut my eyes tight, before opening them to look up at Dream repeating my name.
"Everything okay?" I nod. It was. It was better than okay, I liked having friends again. And Dream promised I would see my Mum soon.
"Alright, keep playing or should we go for a walk? We can get lunch?" I pass the controller to Clay. He hums and turns off his TV.
"Come lets find you a jacket," he stands, George following him to the closet, they start to go through jackets, he holds out a waterproof, dark blue, zip up jacket.
"This okay?" he asks, I hum, George passes it to me, the boys start to grab their own jackets, I stand and pull Dream's on.
"Come on," Quackity says, Patches starts to scratch at my shoes, well they were Dream's old ones, his mum had found them for me earlier this morning.
"She likes you a lot," Dream says while squatting and rubbing patches back,
"we're going now, Patches, we'll be back soon." She meowed and rolled onto her side at my feet, Dream hums.

"Nick," Dream whispered to me while the boys were throwing rocks by the bridge,
"we're going to the hospital in a few hours,"
I look at him confused.
"Something about the crisis team, they just want to check up on you, you'll be okay." I look down, I didn't want a bunch of doctors touching me.
"We should've gone when we found you, that's what the police said," I nod.
"They think you have PTSD."
PTSD? What is that?

I was cold, I was used to it, but I was cold.
"You alright Nick?" Karl. I liked Karl. He reminded me of one of my old friends, I don't remember their names. I don't remember much. I nod. He sits against the brick wall,
"Want to go home now?"

Oh you want to go home? Poor baby.. huh? Doesn't want to be used like he was made to use, back on your knees. You'd be lucky if your Mum even lived, keep this behaviour up and I'll kill her. Got it?

"Give him a second!" Karl said, I looked up, he smiled at me, I looked at Dream, he had concern written all over his face.
"Let's go home," I hum and stand up, the boys didn't get up, I followed Dream a few metres away just me and Dream were going back?
"Bye!" Karl says, I wave my hand tiredly in his direction. I whine quietly. Cold. Dream lead the way, I looked at the ground, making sure to step over all cracks on the ground.
"I'll make you a hot chocolate when we get home, sound good?" I hum, making big steps over the sidewalk.

"Sweetie, we need to take your shirt off," I look around. Why? There is nothing wrong with me!
I look down at my lap, tears starting to form in my eyes, I look over at Dream, he only nods.
"Lift your arms," I do. I don't want to but I also don't want to know what will happen if I don't. After removing my shirt, she squats to examine my chest, I shut my eyes. I was bracing myself for her to touch, but she didn't touch. I heard a camera click.

There so pretty, spread your legs a little more. Camera click. Big eyes for Daddy, yes so good. Pout your lips — less! Less!

My eyes shut open, her camera flashed again at my chest, a man approached and took the camera to observe the photos,
"Nipple clamps?" he asks, the women shrugs. But I knew what they were, they hurt. Daddy would put them on me when I was bad or sometimes when the other people came they put them on me when they touched me.
"Looks like sexual assault," they turn to face Dream and Marisa, she tilts her head to the door, they stand and leave. I didn't want be alone with adults.
"We're going to pull your pants down, alright?" I shake my head fast.

"See the bruising all up there?" he asks the lady, I groan at the sudden touch. I felt extremely uncomfortable, it felt like his hands all over again, running up and down the cuts on my thighs. I start to sob, I wanted to kick them away so badly. I pull my knees up and back away a bit.
"Let us take a photo and we can give you a few minutes to calm down," the man said. I let my legs go, my hands rapidly shaking. The camera clicked, my stomach turned. I felt like all the trust that I've gained in my new friendships have been lost, it feels like a step back.