Is this the end? - Peter Parker

Part 35 ~ Getting worse

A few days later:

Loki just came out of the bathroom. He cried his lungs out. He came out with a sad face but he held his tears back. Then he threw himself into his bed and tears started streaming from his eyes again. He slowly sat up and he grabbed his blade.

He just held it in his hands. He didn't do anything with it yet, he just looked at it. He struggled to hold back the urge that had him the whole day.

He pulled his sleeves up, he took the bandages off and he looked at his scarred arm. He took a big breath and he pushed the blade into his skin. His breathing got faster and tears started to fall from his eyes. When he was done he felt regret immediately.

Bucky was walking in front of his door and he heard sniffles coming from the room. The door was slightly open so he looked in quietly. And he saw Loki as he sits on his bed looking down. He decided to go in, not seeing the blade.

Loki gets scared first but he quickly hides the blade in his hand.

Loki: He-hey Buck.
*he puts a fake smile on*
Bucky: I don't need the fake smile Loki. Drop it.
Loki: Sorry.
*he says as the sadness gets back to his face*
Bucky: Is everything okay?
*Loki shakes his head*
Loki: I miss him. And it's my fault and I could've helped him and I fucked everything up-
Bucky: Slow down, slow down. And no it's not your fault and you didn't do anything wrong.

He says as he looks at Loki's hand that's still in a fist while he's hiding the blade in it. He thoughts he's just stressed and sad so he tries to help him.

Bucky: Give me your hand.
*he gives his free hand to him*
Bucky: The other one too.

Loki doesn't say anything, he looks just down.

Bucky: Loki.
Loki: No..
Bucky: Why?
*he shakes his head*
Bucky: Open it. Please.

Loki sighs and he opens his fist. The metal blade shines, as he looks at it.

Bucky: No, Loki.. you-you didn't do..
Loki: I did... I'm sorry. I had to.

Bucky: Maybe we could do something else.
Loki: Why? I don't need to. Cause tell the damn truth to me Bucky. You have urges too. I know you do. And if you're that perfect, then show me your arm.
Bucky: Calm down Loki
Loki: Show it!
*he says with tears in his eyes*

Bucky sighs and he takes his jumper off. He reveals his new, fresh scars. Just made it a few minutes ago, cause it's still bleeding.

Bucky: You're happy?
Loki: Sorry. I'm just mad at myself.
Bucky: Yeah me too. That's the problem. We're mad and sad and we take it out on ourselves..  Can you show me your arm?

Loki just nods and he pulls the sleeves of his shirt up. His sleeve wipes away the blood and it gets stained. It's bleeding pretty much. But he doesn't care. He just looks at it with guilt in his eyes.

Loki: Sorry.
Bucky: Me too.