Pleasure Remains the Same -Helmut Zemo(eventual winterbaron) x Reader

Continued 16

You've got a small buzz going by the time they come back up. Neither says a word and they part ways; Zemo going to pour himself a glass while Bucky comes over to the couch with a long sigh sitting beside you.

"Everything okay now ?" You ask.

He nods, eyeing Zemo. "Yeah. We took care of it. But..." He glances and you. "But you two need to talk."

You watch Zemo take a sip of his bourbon, his eyes quickly darting over to look at you as he swallows.

"Fine but— only if he promises not to yell!" You shout.

Helmut rolls his eyes, hand slipping into his pocket as he walks over. "I won't yell." He says standing there looking down at you.

"Right. I'm going to go shower." Bucky says and gets up.

He slides his warm right hand across Zemo's stomach, pausing to look him in the eyes, "Just be honest like you were with me." He says and you wonder what that means. Zemo nods and Bucky's smile is surprisingly sympathetic as he kisses him gently and heads for the stairs.

When Zemo sits, he's not close in fact he seems cold and cut off from you in a way he never has before and you feel a flash of fear course through you. Was it too much? Does he feel like you're a liability now? If he dares to push you away...

He says your name and you look at him. "I'm sorry." He says.

You don't say anything.

"I should not have yelled at you like that." He stops and rubs his face with his hand, takes another drink, and looks you over again. "I don't know how else to say it but, I was afraid you'd been hit. I did the math, there were more shots than bodies and for a moment I thought I would see you both on the ground." He pauses to sigh, flexes his jaw with the tension, and you know he's struggling "That fast it all came back. Everything I lost before was as fresh in my mind as it was the day it happened." Tilting his head to look at you he inhales sharply "When I saw you standing there, treating your life so casually I exploded. Again, I apologize."

"Thank you," You say frowning because you aren't sure how to take this, "Casually? Helmut I hardly know what happened. I haven't been in a situation like that in so long I think instincts just took over. And please— don't get it twisted," You say, your laughter incredulous as you lean away. "I did it to save you! To save you both! It wasn't fun, it wasn't some way of showing off, I had no idea how many people had come on board. All I knew was that you were both in serious trouble and she was on her way to help them. The people who were shooting at us. I had to stop her and I knew I could. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care" You laugh again just so shocked to hear him say such a thing.

He stares at you, eyes narrowed, brows knit too close, as if he needs to consider what you're saying, as if you might not be telling the truth.

"Helmut... come on."

He nods, relaxing just a little. "I know you care." He gives in. You think it's over but the way he takes a breath says he's got something else important to tell you.

"When you started coming to my apartment in Madripoor, I thought you were fun, it was nice to have a distraction from the chaos in my life. Which by the way was very close to being imprisoned again at any moment. You're beautiful, funny, sweet; and you listen very well."

You smile in spite of yourself.

"And then it became more. Very quickly I realized I was falling in love with you but I did not want to. I confess I thought turning it into sex" He tosses his hand up "my... darkest fantasies, would keep it safely at surface level. But all it did was make me love you more."