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Deep into that night, after you've all somehow managed to settle in spite of the chaos of the day, you stroke Bucky's head hoping he can fall back sleep soon. He hasn't had a nightmare in so long and if Bruno wasn't dead already you'd kill him again just for bringing these memories back.

"Still awake?" Zemo asks coming into the room.

You look up from the nest of pillows and smile at him in his robe with a tray. He's got tea for all of you. "Yeah." You say scratching Bucky's scalp.

He sighs into your lap and turns his head enough to watch. "What time is it?" He asks, his lips tickling your thigh. He's pressed so close you haven't moved an inch out of fear you'll disturb an already disturbed man.

"Doesn't matter" Helmut says placing the tray at the edge of the bed. "I brought you some tea."

"Thanks" Bucky says but he doesn't move, just turns his head back to you and sighs into your thighs again.

He didn't go into detail but the dream had something to do with the brainwashing and you're honestly glad he's spared you the worst of it. It's the part of his life that will never stop breaking your heart.

Zemo looks at you and you see the pain in his eyes too. He feels guilty. He has all day. He blames himself for Bruno of course. You knew he would, and a part of you understands why he does. For a brilliant man he did make a mistake in underestimating the appeal of money for a kid like that. Still, neither you nor Bucky would ever blame him.

Try convincing him of that.

He's looking down at Bucky in your lap with his arm around your legs, his own body stretched out in the bed and you can see him admiring the beautiful view as much as he wants to comfort him.

Helmut reaches out and rubs his thigh just below the line of his black boxer briefs. "I would not have been able to do that without you today." He says looking him over. "I'm sorry it happened, but I'm thankful it was you at my side for the simple fact that no one else could have ended that fight as quickly as you did. And remember James, you killed no one. That blood is on my hands. Every drop of it."

You'd been told how it went down some time after the makeup sex and before bed. Zemo made sure Bucky hadn't killed anyone, just let him assist in catching them. Fighting them, knocking them out. It was Zemo who did the real dirty work.

Bucky is listening but he doesn't move.

"Want some tea?" You ask.

"Sure" He says and Helmut sits up to pour it without being asked. "Its not so much the dream." Bucky says with his head still down. "I just can't relax, the memories always make me anxious. Like something really bad is going to happen at any second and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Well, I can see why you would think that." You say watching as Bucky sits up and takes the cup and saucer.

He crosses his legs and takes a sip. At first you think it wont do anything, but then his shoulders sink just a little. "Is this..."

"Cherry blossom." Helmut says with wry a smile, his eyes fixing on Bucky's and a secret passes between them.

"What?" You ask looking from one man to the other.

Bucky laughs softly and sighs lowering the cup. "Nothing. You had to be there."

"I knew you didn't hate me then." Helmut says reaching for Bucky's leg a bit further down this time. He smiles fondly at the memory, his hand finding Bucky's ankle, stroking the bone.

"What? No I definitely did." Bucky tries but you see how his breath hitches in his chest at Helmut's touch.

"No you didn't."

Pleasure Remains the Same -Helmut Zemo(eventual winterbaron) x ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now