promise?

3.

- this is a filler chapter so it might not be that entertaining

i haven't seen rafe in days. guilt has taken over me. i'm pretty sure jj thinks i'm mad at him because i've avoided him every opportunity i have. all i want to do was talk about what happened. it was a mistake. i would never do anything to hurt jj. i just feel so goddamn guilty because i know it was wrong. well, i'm gonna have to suck it up because sarah and john b are having a wedding party today.

a few months ago sarah and john b decided that they wanted to get married. that got pushed back for a few reasons. she didn't want to tell anyone, they kept fighting, she broke up with him for a small period of time, yata yata yata. moral of the story, they got back together and are getting married so tonight we are having a small party for them in the hot tub.

"oh hey love birds." kie says to sarah and john b.

sarah giggles.

john b has always been like a brother to me so i'm super happy he found someone that loves every bit of him.

"hii." she says smiling.

"we've been decorating all day." pope says.

"yeah! me, pope and y/n." kie says.

"you guys didn't have to do all this." john b says.

"yes we did!" i say.

"wait- why didn't jj help." john b asks.

shit. i've been so distracted about this party that i completely forgot about jj.

"he hasn't been around all day." kie says.

"hm weird." john b replies.

there's a few seconds of silence until..

"WOOOOOHHHH" we all hear.

jj comes running from in front of the house with boxes of beers and wine coolers.

"i've been tracking this much alcohol down for days. finally got it here" he says.

"you tracked two boxes for days?" john b asks, "you really didn't have t-"

"don't be silly," jj interrupts, "there's 9 more boxes in the van.

he's so happy. happy for his bestfriends getting married. happy in general. it hurts my heart.

———————————————————————————

the party started like a few hours ago but i've kept this time to myself. i've sat in the hammock while everyone has fun. i don't wanna be that person but i can't pretend to have fun when i know that i fucked up.

"hey." jj says, running over to me.

"hi." i reply.

"are you okay?" he asks.

no. im not but i don't deserve to complain because im the one who did it.

"never better." i say with a smile on my face, "just don't feel that good."

"im sorry babe. do you want me to sit with you?" he asks.

why does he have to be so damn sweet?

"no, you deserve to have fun with them. i don't want to take it away." i say.

he smiles and runs back over to the hot tub.

i cant do it. i cant sit here and lie. what i did was wrong. it's not fair that i did what i did. i let rafe get under my skin. i cant believe i did that with him. i cant lie anymore. i have to tell jj.