promise?

20.

"i love you too." i say, smiling.

rafe looks at me, a look of joy on his face.

"but.." i start.

"but?" he asks.

"i think we should keep our relationship a secret." i say.

his smile drops.

"what? why?" he asks.

"they know about peterkin and i think they know where all the bruises came from." i say.

he moves his jaw, his tongue moving against the inside of his cheek.

"you told them?" he asks, clearly pissed off.

"what? no!" i shout.

he nods, ignorantly.

"so what do we do?" he asks, agreeing with my idea.

"i guess we just act like we used to. you hate me because i'm a pogue, and i hate you because you're a selfish kook who made me cheat on my boyfriend."

"that seems a little personal." he mumbles.

i kiss his cheek.

"i still like you though." i say, smiling against his cheek.

"love or like?" he asks, pulling me in for a kiss.

"hate." i say, against his lips, causing him to smile.

i kiss him again.

"there's no one like you y/n." rafe says, making me blush.

he kisses my forehead.

"are you staying with me tonight?" he asks.

"i told them i would be back in a few hours. they might be worried if i don't get back." i say.

he kisses me again.

"until next time i guess." he starts.

i kiss him, repeating my actions again and again, making tiny pecks all over of his lips.

i pull away, a big smile on rafe's face.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" i ask.

"yeah." he says, kissing me again.

"okay, okay, one more." i say, kissing him one last time.

"bye." he says, smiling.

"bye." i reply, blushing, biting my lip as i turn the other way.

———————————————————————————

i walk up to the john b's house, everyone is gone. no one in the hot tub. no one in the house. the twinkie's there but not the boat. ig me being gone wasn't their number one fear like they made it out to be.

i walk into jj's room and lay down on my side, but just as i'm about to fall asleep..

"y/n?" jj whispers.

"jj.." i whisper back, my eyes still shut.

"what are you doing in here?" he asks, still whispering.

i don't respond. i don't really know why i chose my ex boyfriend's room especially because i just fucked someone else but it feels so homey in his room.

he walks over and lays down next to me, a big sigh leaving his mouth as he stares at the ceiling.

"what's wrong?" i ask, still whispering.

"nothing." he whispers back to me, "actually.."

he looks over to me.

"what do i do y/n?" he asks.

"what do you mean?" i ask, my eyes still sealed shut.

"bella.." he starts.

her name makes me open my eyes.

"what about her?" i ask.

"she ended things with me because she thought i was macking on you. i thought i would be upset but i'm not, i'm perfectly fine." he says, a look of sorrow on his face.

"do you like her at all?" i ask.

the thing about jj and bella is, i really want them to end up together. they're perfect for eachother, i just don't want to be the reason they don't.

"i mean, she's pretty." jj starts, "but.."

"but what?" i ask.

"i don't know. she just isn't the one." he says.

he turns on his side, facing me.

"how do i know if someone's the one?" he asks.

how does an ex girlfriend who cheated tell their ex boyfriend how to know when someone is the one.

"i don't really know." i say, "i guess you'll just know when it is."

"that's not helpful. i thought you were one." he says, starting to laugh.

CLEARLY he's uncomfortable.

"i thought you were too." i say, about to laugh.

he starts to quietly giggle. he stops and looks at me, his smile fading.

"y/n?" he starts.

"yeah?" i reply.

"do you think rafe is the one?" he asks, his voice breaking.

this brings me back to the beginning. do i love rafe cameron? yes. do i think he's the one?

"i don't know." i say.

he scoffs.

"that's a lie." he mumbles.

is it?

i turn to lay on my back, not wanting to face jj.

"we broke up." i say, lying through my teeth.

"wha- what?" jj asks.

"he jumped pope, and for what? because we're pogues? it's bullshit." i say.

he smiles, still looking at me.

"i don't know, he seemed pretty upset at us because you wouldn't be with him." he exclaims, trying not to laugh.

"shut up!" i say, laughing.

he laughs along with me but after a few seconds he stops.

"i'm sorry y/n." jj says.

"no, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have-" i'm interrupted.

"i know.." he starts.

".. i know."