After // ziall

Chapter 18

I am incredibly sad and I'm so mentally exhausted with all that has happened and with Zayn leaving, but in my mind he will forever be a part of One Direction and I will continue to write all of my stories with Zayn in it, just like it's always been.

***

After minutes of silence Zayn finally speaks up. "Can I ask you a question?"

The look on his face tells me I should say no but I can't help but say, "sure."

"What do you want to do after college?" He asks and I laugh. That is the last thing I thought he would ask. I assumed he would ask why I am a virgin or why I don't drink.

"Well, I want to be an author or a publisher, whichever comes first." I probably shouldn't have been honest with him, he will just make fun of me. Feeling brave, I ask him the same question earning an eye roll from him but no answer. "Are those your books?" I ask him, even though he probably won't give me an answer.

"They are," he mumbles.

"Which is your favorite?"

"I don't have a favorite."

I sigh and pick at the small fray on my jeans. There shouldn't be a fray already, they are new but I will worry about that later. "Does Mr. Roger's know you're at a party again?" He smirks.

"Mr. Rogers?" I don't get it.

"Your boyfriend. He is the biggest square I have ever seen."

"Don't talk about him like that, he is.. he is.. nice," I stutter. Zayn laughs and I stan up. He doesn't know Noah at all. "You could only dream of being as nice as he is," I snap.

"Nice? That's the first word that comes to your mind when talking about your boyfriend? Nice is your 'nice' way of calling him boring."

"He isn't boring, you don't know him."

"I know that he is boring. I could tell by his cardigan and loafers," Zayn's head rolls back in laughter.

"He doesn't wear loafers." I say and cover my mouth so I don't laugh with him at my boyfriend's expense. I grab the water and take a drink.

"Well he has been dating you for two year and hasn't fucked you yet, I would say he is a square." He says and I spit the water back into the cup.

"What the hell did you just say?" Just when I think we can get along he says something like that.

"You heard me Niall James," he smiles.

"You're an asshole Zayn," I growl and throw the half empty cup of water at his face. His reaction is exactly what I hoped for. Complete shock, his hand wipes off the excess water as I storm out of the room. He is so infuriating, decent one minute and completely crude the next. I push my way through the crowd and find the kitchen again. The anger I feel has overcome my nausea and all I want is another drink. I have to get Zayn's smirk out of my head. I spot Harry's curly hair through the crowd and walk towards him. He is sitting with a cute preppy boy who happens to be holding a bottle of liquor.

"Hey Niall, this is my friend James." Harry says, introducing us. James smiles at me and I return it. James must notice my eyes on the bottle because he holds it out. "Want some?" He asks and passes it to me. The familiar burn feels good, it ignites my body again and I momentarily forget about Zayn.

"Have you seen Steph?" I ask Harry and he shakes his head.

"I think her and Tristan may have left." She left? What the hell? I should care more but the vodka skews my judgement and I find myself thinking Steph and Tristan would make a cute couple. A few drinks later, I feel amazing. This must be why people drink all the time. I vaguely remember promising myself that I will never drink again but it's not so bad.

Fifteen minutes later, Harry and James have me laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. They are much better company than Zayn. "You know Zayn is a real ass," I tell them and they laugh.

"Yea, he can be sometimes." Harry agrees and snakes his arm around me. I want to move it but I don't want to make it awkward because I know he doesn't mean anything by it. Minutes turn to hours and I haven't seen Zayn or Steph. The crowd starts to die down and I start to feel tired. It dawns on me that I have no way to get back to the dorms.

"Do the busses run all night?" I slur. Harry shrugs and says he doesn't know. "I'll be back in a minute." I tell them and stand up. Once again the effects of the vodka hit me as I stand up. "Ugh, just who I wanted to see." I groan as Zayn appears in front of me.

"You and Harry then?" Zayn's voice is thick with an emotion I can't quite register.

"You are so obnoxious! I am trying to find out about the bus." I push past him and he grabs my arm. He has no boundaries. "Let go of me Zayn." I look for another cup to toss in his face.

"Chill out.. it's three am. There isn't a bus. You're stuck staying here again," his smile is so mocking that it makes me want to smack him. "Unless you want to go home with Harry," he lets go of my arm and I go back to the couch with Harry and James. I hope that same room from last weekend is empty, I should probably find out soon. I tell Harry about my plan and he offers to walk me upstairs to find out.