𝐹𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟 | JINSOO | DRAMA

34. Words Unsaid

JIN'S POV:

I am at the roof of the staff headquarters.

I see Jisoo in her normal sweats something she would only dare to wear at home but she still looks beautiful as always. She is standing their against the wind, the sun is setting and her shadow gets longer. She is here...just few steps away from me and my body is stiff. Till this day I only thought I liked her or even love but all of that I could explain those things but...now that I am looking at her I feel like these emotions that are building up are not something I could explain. I just know I have nothing but her on my mind, I... have had nothing but her on my mind.

Jin? - her calling out my name startles me.

I don't have the courage to reply.

I am- I HAVE- NO-I *She scoffs out of frustration* I am normally not like this.

Yes, she is very confident all the time.

Yah Kim Seok Jin, I think I like you - maybe more than just a friend.

I was shocked.

You finally stopped ignoring your feelings.

You know right you are too confident.

At least we have something in common.

Do you need to ruin the moment like this?

I am sorry. So what are you gonna do about it?

About what?

About liking me more than just a friend. - I try to sound as less happy as I can and more serious.

I don't know. Maybe I should just stop before things get serious or-

OR? Should run away?

Or should just be with you and not think of anything else.

I can't stop myself from smiling.

You are not being sarcastic right?

I am speaking my mind. Something I should have done much earlier.

I remain quiet and subconsciously eager to know everything.

I started liking you much- much earlier than I realized... You were on my mind when I didn't know you, I wanted to see you in my daily life even at times when you were not suppose to be there. I- I searched for you unknowingly and I wanted you to be safe.

She looks away breaking the eye contact.

I wanted you to hate me at times and hated myself for wanting that. I wanted you to stay away from me and hated myself cause I don't actually want that. I loved it when I have you beside me and hated it when you left. I liked your voice when you were concern but hated myself cause I would try to convince myself that you are doing it out of pity and not because you are worried that you maybe...even at the slightest bit....like me. I hated it when I just randomly thought of you cause I know I can't ruin your life by falling for you.

I want to say so many things to hear but still remain quiet. She looks at me again this time with determination to hold the eye contact.

I am scared Jin. More than you, more than anyone. I am scared that my answer may as well ruin everything. Ruin you, ruin me, ruin the world that we will built one day. I am scared that me hating my self will corrupt our love....- our relationship. I lied to you when I said I cherish myself more than anyone..........in full honestly I still blame myself for everyone's misery. I hurt myself more than anyone, I can't see myself happy, I don't deserve to be.

And there she goes, tears escaping her eyes. She is crying out loud and she wants this man in front her to know she is not strong, everything about her is fake, everything she ever said was a lie but this. The truth is she is still that little girl that hid herself inside the cabinet just to make her dad worried, the girl that hurt herself purposely just to get her grandmas forgiveness, Kim Jisoo is not bold, beautiful and perfect. She is scared, ugly and full of sorrow. She is seeker for attention and she wants love but she is also afraid that she will end up hurting everyone, everyone that means something to her. But again she is selfish she wants them to love her more than anything.

Jin walked towards her and hugged her. There is the Jisoo. The one that hid herself. He cried with her. He loves her too much that he can't see her in this state. He wants her to be happy more than anything now, he wants to love her enough that can wash away all her sorrow. He loves her.

Jisoo breaks away from the hug and takes a long look at him.

Why do I feel happy? - she asked herself.

Jin looked at her through his now blurry vision that was caused due to crying soo much.

She smiled through her tears, I am finally relieved as if I am at peace. Is this okay for me to feel this Jin?

Everything is fine Jisoo. It is okay to feel this, it is okay for you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. - he smiled too.

As both of them now lost in each other's eyes, Jisoo pecked his lips.

I really love you...don't I?

I know I do. I love you.

I love you too

Feelings that were tucked under the pillow in the fear of nightmare turns out they can be the door to my happiness.

Chapter. 35 : I will always love you.