My Diary Literally

Remembering The Past

I've always had this issue where I forget every memory I've ever had so, I've written everything important down. I found my old journal under my bed. I didn't even need to read it because as soon as I touched it the memories flooded back.

In my life there was a lot of romance. My first romance with a guy was this kid Tyler. We had choir together. He was gay but no one knew. I didn't even know until he noticed me. One day we akwardly hooked up sexually during school. When I look back it was almost like a ballad. I'd want it but refuse it. We started out at one end of the school and I was lured to the other, a place where we could be alone.

It was like a ballad because it was a flow of movements.... and I'm not talking about the sexual part. First I was against a wall but I was nervous so I slipped out under his arms and to the other wall. The lust in the air drawing him back to me. I was still scared though and I spun around putting him against the wall. Like most teenagers in their first attempts chickened out and moved to the center of the room. He then said he didn't want anyone to see us together so we moved into a stall. He locked the door and there wasn't much room for me to back out or to leave. He put his face so close to me that I could feel his breath as he told me to kiss him. I had no where to move so I dropped to the floor. My heart was racing and the warmth of my blushing face started to burn in a relaxing way. He told me that no one would catch us and it was only a kiss so I got back up and after gathering my courage I kissed him.... actually we went straight into making out. Our bodies moved together in a rythmatic thrusts as we continued to make out. He was feeling up my body so I thought i'd do the same to him. I was lucky that he was in track because his chest and stomach were the perfect type of muscular.... and his ass fit so perfectly into my hands. I placed my hand on his stomach and his hands moved lower on my body. He headed down my pants and I backed away simply saying woah. But five words got me back in action "you can touch mine too". I never touched a guy like this before so IN wasn't going to pass the offer. It was funny how fast I got him to cum by just using my hands. he got it all over my black hoodie, I'm just lucky it was reversable. Since he had already cum he got on the ground and started to suck my dick. I could tell I was his first because he didn't completely keep his teeth off it but now I debate if he did it on purpose or not because using that little bit of teeth kept it tingling down their hours after he was done. Him sucking my dick started getting me nervous though so i made an excuse so we could stop... He ended up late to track practice that day.

He kept asking for us to do it again but I refused which now I think was stupid because I actually had a chance with a 9 on the scale of hotness. Keeping it a secret that he was gay was tearing him appart though he started smoking and never left his girlfriend. Soon he just shut down.

the other things I wrote in that journal were me hooking up with a guy and having a girl watch, my adventures at true colors, and who could forget my stories of that guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. God all the gay acting things he does will keep me hooked forever. Well I'll write to you all soon again because I'm thinking about making a move on a guy. but who knows I might chicken out. I'm just waiting of my acne to clear up a little again, I really do look pretty when my acne isnt noticeable.