Robbers - [joshler au]

Chapter 15.

TW
//
Mentions of;
Domestic abuse
Drug use
Sexual Abuse

Start the song. It's Navy Blue by The Story So Far.

The burning was something unlike anything Tyler has ever felt.

He felt like someone was setting off atom bombs in his head, but his head wouldn't explode with them; the explosion being contained inside, the heat never ceasing. The flames licked and lapped at the sides of his skull and he felt like he was dying.

Was he dying?

Was he already dead?

Maybe that's what's burning. Him. He has to be in Hell, if there is one. After all that he's done, why should he be surprised? The way he's treated his family, his friends - the way he treated Josh, there's no mistake that he's residing in Hell right now.

That's why he's on fire. He just knows it.

So why does he hear an angel crying?

The pain from that realization was almost worse than the burning. The fact that he's made Josh cry so much that he could pick his sobs out from anyone's made him never want to open his eyes, but the feeling of the younger man slipping his hand between his was almost begging him to move.

"You're so, so stupid, Ty," he heard Josh whisper in broken syllables.

Move, damn it.

"I want to hate you," he continued. "You have no idea how much I want to hate you." Silence came for a moment before he added, "But I guess I wouldn't be here if I did, huh?"

You should, Tyler thought. I wouldn't even be upset.

Tyler squeezed Josh's hand best he could, feeling the younger's body tense up at the action. "Don't cry," he heard himself mumble. "I'm tired of making you cry."

His words were coming out like a drunken slur, but Josh knew what he was saying. He let out a dry chuckle before speaking, saying "What the hell were you thinking?"

No point in trying to lie, Tyler thought. "You said you wanted me gone," he said, his voice completely void of emotion. "I was only doing what you wanted."

Josh's brown eyes burned with more tears as he ripped his hand from Tyler's, standing up abruptly. "God, Tyler," he said, a disbelieving laugh interrupting his voice. "This isn't fucking fair. You hurt me, manipulated me, made me feel like I was fucking nothing, and when I get sober, when I get good again, when I rightfully tell you to leave me alone, you try and kill yourself!?"

Tyler finally found enough strength to pry his eyes open, the blurriness fading slowly before he was able to focus on Josh. God, those deep mocha eyes clouded over with tears made him want to glue them back shut, but he shook his head. "I know that I hurt you," he said in a soft voice, "and I know that I can't apologize for it. But you have to believe me, Josh, I didn't sleep with Pete just to hurt you. I didn't even sleep with him because I wanted to."

Another dry laugh. "I find that hard to believe," Josh said, venom in his voice. "It seemed like you were having an awfully good time to me."