Robbers - [joshler au]

Chapter 6.

Trigger Warning

//

Drug use; marijuana.
Mentions of other drugs/drug use; cocaine, acid, MDMA, prescription drugs, heroin.

Start the song. It's You Are Your Mother's Child by Conor Oberst.

When Josh woke up, he woke up slowly and covered in shivers. The shivers weren't from being cold, they couldn't be when he was chest to chest wrapped up in Tyler's arms and Brendon had his arms wrapped around him from behind. His vision was a bit blurry and he felt incredibly disoriented, and he knew exactly why. He felt his eyes burn and his bottom lip start to tremble as he started softly pawing his hands at Tyler's chest, watching as his eyes shot open and started to focus. "What is it?" His voice was gravely submerged in sleep as he brushed his thumb over Josh's face. "What's going on?"

Josh felt tears slip out from the corners of his eyes as he tried to stop his lip from trembling by biting it. "M-My mom," he started, his voice instantly breaking. "My mom is dead. She's-- Tyler she's--"

Tyler instantly pulled Josh closer to him, watching as Brendon woke up immediately at the motion. Tyler motioned him forward and Brendon and he took no time in moving forward and hugging Josh tightly from behind, feeling his body shake with his sobs. Josh didn't know what to do. He wanted to stay buried in his boyfriend's(?) and best friend's arms forever, but he knows he can't. They have things to do, they can't be here to cater to him forever. He wishes they could though.

Josh could feel Brendon shaking from behind him, making him turn around in their arms to where he was facing him and they wrapped their arms tightly around each other. Brendon was taking this almost as hard as Josh, and Josh knew that. Brendon's parents were homophobic and completely incapable of loving him the way he deserved. Josh's mom practically raised him. She would pick him up from school, take him to little league soccer, dress his scrapes when he would fall off his bike, would tell him she loved him unconditionally and she meant it. Josh didn't just lose his mom, Brendon lost his, too.

It had to have been hours that they were lying there crying, absolutely sobbing before they actually calmed down long enough to look at each other. Tyler and Ryan had left the room, most likely outside smoking a cigarette. Brendon sniffed slightly, shaking his head as he looked right into Josh's eyes. "What were you thinking?"

Josh shook his head back at him. "I wasn't."

"You could've died, Josh," he whispered harshly. "You took about half of an 8 ball by yourself. That much cocaine could probably kill Tyler, and he does it three or four days a week. You've never done it. You could've easily killed yourself, is that what you wanted? Did you want to die, Josh?"

Josh felt his eyes burning again as he remained still. "I lost my mom, Brendon," he whimpered out. "Do you really think I was thinking right?"

Brendon sighed out deeply. "Why coke, though? What the hell made you want to do coke?"

Josh felt himself internally curl in on himself like a scolded child. "I had a stupid argument with Tyler," he said softly. "I don't-- I think I was trying to get him to change his mind about doing it. I don't really understand what I was saying. It didn't work, either way, and we wound up breaking up. Or breaking off whatever it was that we were doing. When I left his house, I told him 'I can ruin my life with or without you.' I think I was trying to prove that point."

Brendon shook his head again, taking Josh's face in his hands. "If you ever do this to me again," he whispered, "I'll fucking kill you. I just lost my mom. I'm not losing my brother, too."